Layers

It is with hesitation that I address this scripture. It is a story I have heard since I was knee high to a watermelon.  It is a heart-wrenching story, a story woven throughout thousands of years of history with a link from the Old Testament to the New Testament. At face value it is hard to comprehend. It has spoken to me in different ways on more than one occasion. It has so many layers! It is found in Genesis 22:1-19 when Abraham obediently follows God to sacrifice his promised son and was stopped at the last minute by God.  Following, are some of the layers that I have discovered in this story throughout my life. 

As a child, my first take, or layer on this story was simple obedience to God.  He can be trusted. In my childlike faith, this was probably my best take on this story.  It was later in life as a young adult that I questioned this story.  I thought maybe Abraham was mistaken because God never sacrifices children. In history it is only those pagan gods like Molek that demand such a heinous act.  So I tried to explain away Abraham’s situation thinking he must have been confused and God straightened him out. This was me wrestling with truth.  

But as so often happens, wrestling with truth drags us to enlightenment. About a year ago I discovered a new layer in this story. At the time, I was struggling more than I usually do with fear.  Knowing that fear is the opposite of faith, I turned to this heart-wrenching story.  That is when it dawned on me that Abraham knew God was going to make it right and trusted Him even though he didn't know how it was going to play out.  So he followed in obedience and yes, God made it right.  That was faith.  

As a professional questioner, it is so hard for me to trust God when I can’t see his plan.  But this is the first step in replacing fear with faith.  It starts with a choice, like Abraham who must have chosen to fix his eyes on the victory rather than the  difficulties.  It is not belittling the difficulties, for they are very real.  It is looking beyond the trials to the victory that God has given.  It is a change in point of view.  It is looking at God and not at the flailing mess that surrounds me.  I must do my part of preparation for the battle but with my eyes on the victory the entire time; remembering that it is God’s victory over my fear. 

Today, Genesis 22 is my morning scripture and I go back to read it.  The first two verses say: 

Genesis 22:1-2 NIV

Some time later God tested Abraham. He said to him,“Abraham!” “Here I am,” he replied. 2 Then God said, “Take your son, your only son, whom you love—Isaac—and go to the region of Moriah. Sacrifice him there as a burnt offering on a mountain I will show you.”

I again think, "Why would our loving God tell Abraham to sacrifice this only child?   Hold it...I see a note I made in my Bible from Evidence That Demands a Verdict: Life-Changing Truth for a Skeptical World by Josh and Sean McDowell.  It labels this verse as ‘type’. The note says, 'a type foreshadows or prefigures what the New Testament says.'  When did God ever sacrifice an only child in the New Testament?  And it hit me like a train. This is evidence that God knew then how His plan would play out; that his only Son would be sacrificed for our sins. 

So reading on in verses 6-8, I found another reference in my Bible from the aforementioned-book-with-the-long-name. Again it said ‘type’.  

6 Abraham took the wood for the burnt offering and placed it on his son Isaac, and he himself carried the fire and the knife. As the two of them went on together, 7 Isaac spoke up and said to his father Abraham, “Father?” “Yes, my son?” Abraham replied. “The fire and wood are here,” Isaac said, “but where is the lamb for the burnt offering?” 8 Abraham answered, “God himself will provide the lamb for the burnt offering, my son.” And the two of them went on together.

In verse 6, did you see it?  God did it again.  Isaac carried the wood for the sacrifice just as Jesus carried the cross for his.  

So I read on and find another note from the same source in verse 13. 

Genesis 22:13 NIV

[13] Abraham looked up and there in a thicket he saw a ram caught by its horns. He went over and took the ram and sacrificed it as a burnt offering instead of his son.

The note in the margin said, "It is worthy of our attention that the provision was made of a ram rather than a lamb.  This suggests that the lamb that had been promised was still to be provided".  

Wow!  God had and has this thing all figured out.  I can trust him. He has a plan.

Mistaking Annoyances for Agonies

One of my biggest issues in life is making mountains out of molehills.  So often, I nervously navigate through a day filled with back-to-back worries-of-the-moment that wreck my peace, each demanding my full attention.  This leads from days, to months, to years, and possibly a lifetime of constant worry.  There is no way this is what God intended for the Christian life! Yet how can I win these tiny battles that indeed are one big war?  And what is the root of this issue?  

The answer to these questions lies in a statement I heard made by Beth Moore.  It was so profound that I had to write it down and keep it in my journal.  She said, “The more detached and self-absorbed we become, the more we mistake annoyances for agonies.”  Now that is truth. Let that soak in. Allowing myself to become detached from God and from the real struggles of people around me because I am so self-absorbed; this is the source of my pain. I am looking at my world through "ME" lenses. I am the center of my universe. How many times have I let relatively minor issues consume my mind and destroy me? In fact, if my issue deserves either of these hashtags: #Firstworldproblems, #Thestruggleisreal; it is a sign that I have yet again made a big deal out of nothing. 

So now that I have admitted this problem, what is the next step? How do I get to a place of healing? My background tells me to search the scripture and find references to worry in the Bible.  Here are a few of my favorites.

Philippians 4:6-7 NIV

[6] Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. [7] And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Hebrews 12:1-3 NIV

[1] Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, [2] fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. [3] Consider him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.

2 Corinthians 10:5 NIV

[5] We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.

So in a nutshell:

1. Throw off those thoughts that hinder and refocus my attention on God through prayer and petition,  choosing to fix my eyes on him.

2. Thank Him for taking care of the issue.

3. When worry happens again, I repeat step 1 and 2, thereby taking every thought captive all day long.

Sounds simple right?  Lol. We all know that on my own power it will end in failure. How in the world do I fix my eyes on the invisible when the visible is screaming in my face?  The simple truth is that I can’t.  But I have a powerful Spirit living in me that can! 

Romans 8:5-6 NIV

[5] Those who live according to the flesh have their minds set on what the flesh desires; but those who live in accordance with the Spirit have their minds set on what the Spirit desires. [6] The mind governed by the flesh is death, but the mind governed by the Spirit is life and peace.

Yes! I need to call on that Power through daily prayer, and in every situation. Then I am not left to battle with my own ineffective tools. This cycle of worry can be broken by handing it to Him in prayer. This will be powered by the Holy Spirit living in me. I realize there will be times that my habits will win, but gradually the change will grow and transform this old girl.  

Here is another way to remember to take every annoyance to God.  Do you remember a time in your young life when something very unfair happened and you knew all you had to do was tell a certain trusted adult and they would restore justice?  You probably ran teary-eyed to him or her, dumped the problem, and then went off to play knowing it was going to be resolved. One approach when worrisome thoughts take my mind is to remember with a victorious attitude of “I’m going to tell my Dad.”  And before stopping to tell others who have no power to help resolve the problem, drop it in my Father’s lap, thanking him for taking care of it. 

Lord help me, I have so far to go. May I learn to fix my eyes on invisible You. Help me learn to lean on You.  This struggle will be conquered one battle at a time and only through your power. Thank you Dad. Now I can go play.  

Dancing

You could take what I know about partner dancing, place it in a shot glass, then have room in the glass for enough liquor to keep you from driving home legally.  And, to quote Garth Brooks, I blame it all on my roots.  I am a Baptist Preacher’s kid and I could count my attempts at two-stepping on one hand. I find stepping forward only to reverse my progress into a crowd of strangers most annoying.  I am constantly critiquing the direction choice of my partner, my muscles are screaming to go forward and not back, my feet hurt, I am suffering personal embarrassment over my inabilities, and for the life of me I cannot figure out how to make those steps match the beat of the music.   All I can think is, “when will this song be over?”.  

There is always some poor soul that wants to teach me to like dancing and this is what he or she will say:

1. Relax and trust your partner.
2. Let your partner lead.
3. Listen to the music and let your feet move to it.  

As much fun as dancing looks, it could never be as important as learning to dance in my daily life with Christ. However, I have found that learning to step into a daily relationship with Christ has many of the same pitfalls as when I try to dance.  I want to critique my partner.  I want to suggest that we move another way.  My muscles are overwhelmed by the novelty of this motion and I must follow mindfully to get it right. I am embarrassed by my floundering over the missteps.  I worry about bumping into people. I forget to relax and enjoy the music and I forget to trust my partner.  

The Christian walk has ebbs and flows much like the steps on a dance floor.  Some days I am going through the pains of dealing with my sin and learning to rely on Christ and some days I experience the joy of the fruits of this reliance.  The key is to hold on to my partner with all my heart, trust his lead and listen to the voice of the Holy Spirit who is my music to direct my steps.  And with experience comes trust.  Pushing through all the awkward beginnings are worth the joys of this dance. He never will let me fall. The following passage in Psalms from The Message translation of the Bible describes this dance perfectly. 

Psalm 119:65-72 MSG [65-72] 
Be good to your servant, GOD; be as good as your Word. Train me in good common sense; I'm thoroughly committed to living your way. Before I learned to answer you, I wandered all over the place, but now I'm in step with your Word. You are good, and the source of good; train me in your goodness. The godless spread lies about me, but I focus my attention on what you are saying; They're bland as a bucket of lard, while I dance to the tune of your revelation. My troubles turned out all for the best- they forced me to learn from your textbook. Truth from your mouth means more to me than striking it rich in a gold mine.

I have friends that can dance beautifully, but as much as I admire watching my friends dance, after a while it is boring.  It is the same way in my life in Christ.  I can go to church every time the doors open, I can listen to every sermon, I can learn the Christian lingo, sing the Christian songs, wave my hands in the air, follow the rules that I perceive to be Christian, but I will never know what it is to be a Christian until I chose to dance arm in arm with my personal Savior here and now, One-on-one.