Showing posts with label anxiety. Show all posts
Showing posts with label anxiety. Show all posts

Tuesday, November 23, 2021

What If?

 What if I don’t take care of everyone? What if I don’t finish my to-do list? What if I don’t control my mouth? What if I don’t control my insecurity? What if I don’t care for those in need? What if I don’t control my desire for revenge? What if I don’t pretend to like folks that are unlikeable? What if I don’t make myself get out of bed in the morning? What if I don’t ask forgiveness?

What if I give all of the above to God and relax? What if God does this all for me? 


He does. He did. He will. Always. 

Let go. 


Matthew 11:28-30 NIV
 “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”

Friday, October 8, 2021

"Going 35 With a Rocket Inside"

 

Image by Jackson David from Pixabay

This is a line in the song Say I Won’t written by Mercy Me. I heard it several times before I got what Bart Millard was talking about.  Here is a link to this song.

Understanding this line in Say I Won’t happened this way. In the sermon Pastor Jan preached, she was talking about sanctification. This is a big word for maturing in your faith, growing closer to God, and being who God intended you to be. She recommended a short book called Sit, Stand, Walk by Watchman Nee. I read the first part of the book called ‘Sit’ over and over, highlighting so many enlightening statements until it dawned on me what “Going 35 with a Rocket Inside” meant. 

Christ is in me. He has been since I gave my life to Him as a small child. But I always had the compulsion to work for Christ. I didn’t let Him have control because I was always trying to fix myself for him. I never got that I was supposed to abide but rather felt like I needed to correct myself for him. It is like when I clean my house for the housekeeper. I am trying to clean up the clutter before I let Jesus clean the really bad stuff. When all I needed to do was throw the door open on my disorder. He can’t ‘Marie Kondo’ me unless I get out of the way. I didn’t understand that I was to relax in the satisfaction that I am forgiven and I should rest in the Lord because he is in control IF I only will sit down and let him drive. The Holy Spirit, which has been in me since I was born into Christianity, is the rocket inside. Yet I have been grabbing the wheel from Him and driving 35 mph for all these years. 

And so I must learn to let go of my annoying compulsion to fix me because Christ already did that when he sacrificed himself on the cross. My sinful self of yesterday, today and tomorrow was nailed to that cross and covered by his precious sacrifice.  As another line in the song says, “I will be dancing when circumstances drown the music out.”

Thursday, June 10, 2021

Is It Stupidity or Courage?

Image by Sasin Tipchai from Pixabay 

Discerning a courageous move from a stupid move can be challenging. For most of us, courage isn’t rushing into burning buildings to rescue kittens. For me, that would be stupid rather than courageous. I used to think being bold for Christ was going to work in Africa as a missionary. And it is. I was right. But that may not be MY bold. Courage is about doing something that you know you should when it is easier not to. I believe that God-given boldness comes with a spark of desire. He does not expect us to do what he hasn’t given us the motivation to do. At least that is what I think. Being bold is not my forte. I am a comfort-loving, go-with-the-flow girl so this is my exploration of courage and boldness.

The Bible is full of examples of boldness. Zacchaeus climbing a tree to see Jesus, the disciples dropping everything to follow Jesus, Joseph marrying the pregnant Mary, Esther approaching a volatile king on behalf of her people, or Elijah creating a duel between the fire-making skills of God verses Baal and being rather sassy about it. This is only scratching the surface of the examples of courage in the Bible. But what I must remember is that Zacchaeus, Joseph, Esther and Elijah were not superheroes. They were all human just like me. They were imperfect and afraid. Yet they followed God and took the first step.

Today your courage may be going to the doctor. For others it may be going to church again. For some, it may take boldness to trust someone else to do the job. Boldness could mean cleaning out the junk(literally and figuratively). It could be forgiving someone, letting a child go, asking for help, ignoring opinions of others, moving on without a spouse, visiting an old friend, speaking to a group or even going on vacation. 

So here are three questions I need to ask myself before I take that bold step. 

  1. Have my loved ones been hinting at(nagging about) this step for me? Many times the next bold step is obvious to your loved ones but you are hesitant. Listen to them. God often uses our loved ones to guide us.
  2. Do I have hope for improvement resulting from this or do I have a passion or desire to do this but I am held back by fear?
  3. Have I prayed about it?

If my answer to all of these questions is no then I could be staring into the face of an act of stupidity. But if the answer to the first or second question is yes, then it is time to make the answer to the third question yes. Maybe it is time to take this first bold ste

Saturday, May 15, 2021

Do Your Ears Hang Low?

 

geralt / 22899 images

When you read that title, I'll bet you were singing the song in your head. 

It is not the sagging skin, growing earlobes or arthritic joints; it is the slowing of my mind that worries me about aging. It seems that a job that should take one hour, takes two. Not because my body is slow but because it takes one hour to do the job and one to correct my mistakes. And what I learned yesterday, I have forgotten today. It is so distressing for me to plainly see the progressive demise of my faculties. No, I don’t have Alzheimers(at least not yet). It is just that my highest value was always in how my mind worked so that is what takes my attention. But I guess we all have one thing that worries us about aging. And I must remember, aging is a privilege granted to survivors.

Here is a scripture that comforted me today about this time of life.

Psalm 103: 1-5 NIV

Praise the Lord, my soul;
    all my inmost being, praise his holy name.
 Praise the Lord, my soul,
    and forget not all his benefits—
who forgives all your sins
    and heals all your diseases,
who redeems your life from the pit
    and crowns you with love and compassion,
 who satisfies your desires with good things
    so that your youth is renewed like the eagle’s.

God does forgive my sins every single day. He has healed my diseases. He did redeem my life from the pit. He does crown me with love and compassion. He does satisfy my desires with so many good things. So it follows that I should rejoice and enjoy these good things and let them renew my youth. Yes, just as the scripture says, it is through a grateful and thankful heart over God’s goodness that He will renew my youth like the eagle’s.

Friday, July 31, 2020

Coping With COVID

 Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith.

Hebrews 12:1-2a [NIV]

Lately there has been a plethora of things that hinder!  I don’t know if you can relate, but every time I chose to do something, I realize that it will be different because of COVID. And that hinders me and makes me stop cold. Today, to me, this is what the what the verse above is addressing. Issues of COVID tie up my excitement and creativity in a little knot and easily entangle me in a downward progression of thoughts. If you can relate to this, then keep on reading. There is good news ahead.

Are we stuck in this entanglement of coping with the hindrance of COVID, or is there a better way?  Is there a way out of this daily, as folks in the South say, “whoopin’? ” As I was reading a devotional from a friend, I was drawn to the above passage in Hebrews 12.  Embedded in it was a way to cope and live in this time victoriously.  It starts with telling us to run the race. There were no contingencies. It said to run. Don’t sit and worry. Don’t wait to feel like it. Just get started.  And it also says the path is marked for us to run. Right now our path is terribly curvy. We don’t know what tomorrow holds. We can’t see around the next bend, but we can make up our minds to persevere and run today’s path.  And what is more, we are given instructions on how.  Fix your eyes on Jesus.  Don’t fix your eyes on what might be looming ahead. Don’t even fix your eyes on today’s tasks. Fix your eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith.  So how do you fix your eyes on Jesus?

Image by Free-Photos from Pixabay 

‘Fixing your eyes’ is all about focus.  Our focus is what determines how we live our life. This is a choice of putting the emphasis on God. So rather than choosing to feel wrung out and tired, I will choose to feel needed, essential and invested.  It is a choice. Placing my eyes on my blessings and what is good in my life places my focus on the God who gave me these blessings. So today if I am grateful, I will see the fruit of that gratitude which is peace and overflowing joy.  And then tomorrow, for the new peace and joy, I am more grateful and pretty soon I am in a perfect cycle of blessings!  Gratitude inspires gratitude. This isn’t about adopting a ‘PollyAnna’ attitude. Gratitude doesn’t deny how hard things are, it just puts the emphasis on the good. And God is the goodness in our lives. 

Saturday, February 1, 2020

The Thief


Once upon a time there was a joyful man named Rupert, who lived in the deep forest with his family in a quaint cottage he made with his own hands. Each day he would walk to the nearby village where he made the best shoes in the land.  People from around the entire Provence, ruled by the Great Lion King, came to buy a pair of shoes from Rupert the Cobbler for there was none that fit so well and lasted so long as the shoes he made. Rupert was not rich but he had a beautiful, loving wife and three children that never went without a meal. Rupert was a hard worker, loved his life and was seldom seen without a twinkle in his eye.  

One day on the way to work, whistling a happy tune, he was approached by a tiny little man with his head bent to the ground.  Rupert’s heart went out to this man in his crooked condition so he walked with him all the way to his shop in the village.  Along the way he discovered that this little man, Yaroslav, knew quite a bit about making shoes and Rupert began questioning him about it.  Yaroslav shared many details with Rupert about the art of shoemaking.  He pointed out that the leather that Rupert used for the sole, from the hide of a Chichi dragon, was soon to become impossible to obtain.  Yaroslav heard that the Chichi dragons were steadily moving further away into the mountains where someday, no one could find them again.  

Rupert couldn’t believe his luck to find such a clever man as Yaroslav!  He bid him farewell and as soon as he got to the shop he began making his shoes from the belly of the common warthog.  Rupert knew he would never run out of warthog belly and he was safe from the impending dragon hide shortage. 

The next day on the way to work Rupert watched for the crooked little man.  Sure enough, there he was around the next bend.  Today Yaroslav revealed that he also once lived in the woods with his family just eighteen hectares North of here, until his wife was attacked by a rogue pack of Wolverineans while she was hanging the laundry on the line. Until now, Rupert thought the Wolverineans were an ancient savage species that only lived in legends. In the stories, they only attacked what they could see. He was so shocked by this news that he built a fence around his property tall enough that the Wolverineans could not see his cottage and consequently, Rupert and his family could no longer see the trees.  He was sure that now his family would be safe, for a while...

He never ran into the old man again but often thought about all the dangers surrounding him everyday. He felt his best defense was to think of them before they happened then he would be prepared to fend them off.  He regretted his old haphazard life and spent all his time thinking of problems that might steal his home, family or business away.  Yaroslav had taught him how to be smart and stay one step ahead of potential problems.  Rupert felt smarter than others for staying ahead of heartache and loss by predicting ways that he might be vulnerable. But gradually Rupert began to stoop a little due to the load of thoughts swirling in his head. His steps were slower and more cautious. Gone was his happy whistle and jolly step.  Gone was his lovely unprotected forest home and the summer evenings watching his children swinging from the trees. Gone was his high quality shoes and most of his customers!

In keeping with his cautious lifestyle, Rupert made a regular swing by the post office to check out the pictures of the most wanted criminals.  One day, the 13th of May, I believe, Rupert spotted a familiar face at the top of he most wanted list.  It was Yaroslav!  Under his picture it said “Joy Thief”.  Reading the fine print, it said Yaroslav’s modus operandi was to instill fear in the heart of unsuspecting souls, submitting them to a life of haunting worry.  Rupert knew immediately he had been under Yaroslav’s curse.  Regret filled his heart and he wept over all that had been stolen from him.  

Rupert tried the best he could to rid his mind of the thoughts of impending doom.  But try as he might, he only seemed to obsess even more. When Rupert was at his wit’s end he decided to go see the Great Lion King, known for his wisdom, to see if he could remove the spell and restore his joy. 

Upon arrival, Rupert bowed low before the Mighty Lion King’s thrown asking the kind compassionate King for relief from this curse.  The King quickly asked Rupert if he wanted to be free of this curse.  This seemed like a silly question but Rupert answered saying that more than anything, he wanted it gone. Then the King told Rupert the pathway to freedom.  He said, “It will not be easy. You will need to take the time daily on your way to work to stop by and tell me one new and beautiful thing about your life”.  Rupert was desperate and agreed to this practice. Early the next morning he dutifully got up and started thinking about the previous day to find one small piece of beauty in his miserable cursed existence. He finally thought of one thing to tell the Great Lion King: He now had hope. Each day he had to come up with a new point of gratitude and remember the ones from the previous days. He diligently reported to the Lion King every morning and each morning it became easier to think of a new beautiful thing in his life in which he was grateful. 


Gradually, as winter turned to spring, Rupert’s family noticed the softness returning to his eyes, the skip was restored to Rupert’s step and his back straightened out.  He no longer had difficulty thinking of something to tell the Lion King and looked forward to his visits.  He often sat for an hour just telling of all the beauty in his life.  Rupert, now recognizing the fears and lies of Yaroslav, removed the fences around his forest home and once again began making shoes from the quality Chichi dragon hide. In the summer evenings he could again watch his children playing in the forest, swinging feely from the tree branches. Rupert was blessed in everything he did and he never stopped reporting to the Lion King, living most happily ever after!


Tuesday, June 25, 2019

Changes

Have you ever witnessed the drama of a high school senior's last year in high school?  As a retired high school teacher and parent of three, I have.  Knowing of the impending departure makes parents and children act crazy! Most of the time both the parents and the soon-to-be graduates begin picking out faults in each other.  Then the hurtful words are returned and tears are shed. Sometimes it escalates to the point that parents are ready to slam the door shut when their child walks out yelling, don’t let the door hit ya’ where the Good Lord split ya’! Graduates and parents don’t really mean the hurtful things they say, they are just trying to work the band aid off slowly, hoping it will hurt less when the moment of loss actually arrives.  Graduation is just one example of major life changes.  Some others are a change of job, moving, marriage, divorce, retiring, changing schools or changing churches.  As adults in transition, we often begin picking at our current relationships in a way similar to what seniors in high school do, trying to anesthetize our loss.

I am a seasoned “transitioner”. In my 60 years, I have moved 27 times, changed employers over 20 times and witnessed 36 graduating classes.  If you are in a season of life changes, here are are my words of advice.  
  1. Rein in your wandering mind. I think 2 Corinthians 10:5 applies here. We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ. It is so hard to stay in the present; sometimes the future is so much more exciting.  It is good and natural to be excited about your prospects. But now is the time to be present in the moment.  There is a time and place for everything. A good rule of thumb is if you physically haven’t stepped into the new place, do not spend time there mentally.  I hate to tell you, but most of your mental preparation will prove wrong anyway. At least mine always did. Stay in the present even if it is painful, boring and tedious. I have found the best way to stay present in the moment is to throw myself into the task at hand, striving for the best ever transition, leaving the place healthier than I found it.  Ecclesiastes 3:1,7 NIV [1] There is a time for everything and a season for every activity under the heavens: [7] a time to tear and a time to mend... The time to tear will come, and just like a band aid, rip it off quickly at the proper time and move on.
  2. Remember you are not the only one who is going through this. Unfortunately, this is where I always blew my exit. I forgot that the people I love are forced into this transition by my decision and may feel hurt and resentment.  Reach out to them with love.  Let them know how much you will miss them in deeds, not mere words.  And I mean...seek them out. Spend time with them. Actions speak so much louder than words.  And remember the saying, “If you can’t be with the one you love, love the ones you are with.”
  3. Trust God’s provision for the actual moment when you step out the door A big part of the reason we mishandle goodbyes is because we are anxious about the future.  Remind yourself of the command in Philippians 4:6-7. Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, submit your requests to God. And the peace of God which passes all understanding will guard your heart and your mind in Christ Jesus. I love this passage because it is not just a command, but a simple recipe on how to carry it out. Pray and be thankful. This will result in peace from God that will guard your anxious heart and mind.  

Lord I ask that you give me grace to let those I love leave and the presence of mind to love and spend time with those that are still with me.

Friday, January 11, 2019

Mistaking Annoyances for Agonies

One of my biggest issues in life is making mountains out of molehills.  So often, I nervously navigate through a day filled with back-to-back worries-of-the-moment that wreck my peace, each demanding my full attention.  This leads from days, to months, to years, and possibly a lifetime of constant worry.  There is no way this is what God intended for the Christian life! Yet how can I win these tiny battles that indeed are one big war?  And what is the root of this issue?  

The answer to these questions lies in a statement I heard made by Beth Moore.  It was so profound that I had to write it down and keep it in my journal.  She said, “The more detached and self-absorbed we become, the more we mistake annoyances for agonies.”  Now that is truth. Let that soak in. Allowing myself to become detached from God and from the real struggles of people around me because I am so self-absorbed; this is the source of my pain. I am looking at my world through "ME" lenses. I am the center of my universe. How many times have I let relatively minor issues consume my mind and destroy me? In fact, if my issue deserves either of these hashtags: #Firstworldproblems, #Thestruggleisreal; it is a sign that I have yet again made a big deal out of nothing. 

So now that I have admitted this problem, what is the next step? How do I get to a place of healing? My background tells me to search the scripture and find references to worry in the Bible.  Here are a few of my favorites.

Philippians 4:6-7 NIV
[6] Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. [7] And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Hebrews 12:1-3 NIV
[1] Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, [2] fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. [3] Consider him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.

2 Corinthians 10:5 NIV
[5] We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.

So in a nutshell:
1. Throw off those thoughts that hinder and refocus my attention on God through prayer and petition,  choosing to fix my eyes on him.
2. Thank Him for taking care of the issue.
3. When worry happens again, I repeat step 1 and 2, thereby taking every thought captive all day long.

Sounds simple right?  Lol. We all know that on my own power it will end in failure. How in the world do I fix my eyes on the invisible when the visible is screaming in my face?  The simple truth is that I can’t.  But I have a powerful Spirit living in me that can! 


Romans 8:5-6 NIV
[5] Those who live according to the flesh have their minds set on what the flesh desires; but those who live in accordance with the Spirit have their minds set on what the Spirit desires. [6] The mind governed by the flesh is death, but the mind governed by the Spirit is life and peace.

Yes! I need to call on that Power through daily prayer, and in every situation. Then I am not left to battle with my own ineffective tools. This cycle of worry can be broken by handing it to Him in prayer. This will be powered by the Holy Spirit living in me. I realize there will be times that my habits will win, but gradually the change will grow and transform this old girl.  

Here is another way to remember to take every annoyance to God.  Do you remember a time in your young life when something very unfair happened and you knew all you had to do was tell a certain trusted adult and they would restore justice?  You probably ran teary-eyed to him or her, dumped the problem, and then went off to play knowing it was going to be resolved. One approach when worrisome thoughts take my mind is to remember with a victorious attitude of “I’m going to tell my Dad.”  And before stopping to tell others who have no power to help resolve the problem, drop it in my Father’s lap, thanking him for taking care of it. 

Lord help me, I have so far to go. May I learn to fix my eyes on invisible You. Help me learn to lean on You.  This struggle will be conquered one battle at a time and only through your power. Thank you Dad. Now I can go play.