Hope for the Hopeless

 I have no idea why you would go to hell in a handbasket. I could Google that but I’m pretty sure this is one of those old sayings that is has lost its context but kept its meaning. There have been periods of time in history where everything has gone to hell in a handbasket and one of those is recorded in the Old Testament. It comes from the prophet Jeremiah in the book of Lamentations.

At that time, Jeremiah clearly saw the bad choices of the Israelites and preached for them to stop their idol worship, turn to God and repent. Imagine how those prophets who kept warning the Israelites felt when all their pleas fell on deaf ears. They witnessed it as people ignored their warnings and continued depending on everything but God to deliver them. They watched the inevitable results of bad choices unfold around them. Read Lamentations 1-2 for details. But be warned, it is not PG rated! To summarize it, Jerusalem was defeated and many survivors were carried off to exile. That was surely “hell in a handbasket”.

The natural human thought process at that point would be to dwell on the injustices. They would roll around and around in their minds without any effort, replaying the scene time and time again. But somehow, out of this devastation and hopelessness, some the most hopeful words of the Bible are written down. According to Jeremiah, he called them to mind. That must have taken effort and a Higher Power to think about the faithfulness of God in those horrible circumstances. But he did it.

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And here are Jeremiah’s beautiful words:

I remember my affliction and my wandering, the bitterness and the gall. I well remember them, and my soul is downcast within me. Yet this I call to mind and therefore I have hope: Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. I say to myself, “The Lord is my portion; therefore I will wait for him.” The Lord is good to those whose hope is in him, to the one who seeks him; it is good to wait quietly for the salvation of the Lord.

Lamentations 3:19-26 NIV

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I find that I remember scripture so much better when it is set to music. Here is a song inspired by this passage. Listen and you can hear Jeremiah’s words ring through.

So to defeat depression over things going awry, we have instructions from the Prophet Jeremiah. Call these words to mind. Repeat them. Sing this song loudly even if you can’t sing anything like CeCe or Carrie. Great is thy faithfulness oh God, my Father!

Interrupted

Everything was going great, my prayers were answered daily, I loved my job, I loved my new passion to blog, I loved learning new things for my job, and my children were doing better then I ever imagined.  The interruption started gradually throughout a couple of weeks but my awareness of it came to me suddenly while attending a funeral. It really had nothing to do with the loss although that was sad.  I became acutely aware of the presence of a dark heavy blanket folded around me and it would not let the light shine through. Although that is rather cliche and not a good way to describe it.  The next two paragraphs better describe it. 

All my desires are mere shadows now.  The things that once thrilled me cannot pierce this darkness. My thoughts are not completed.  Self-demeaning thoughts dominated. My efforts are not completed, nothing is getting done.  I don’t want to wake up in the morning, take a shower, get dressed, eat, cook, sew, read, look at Facebook, or complete this blog.  My life is undone. 

Did I mention how irritable I am?  Yeah, when I try to act normal I become agitated at every little thing.  Or how long it takes me to complete a simple task?  As if I ever completed anything anymore.  Or the lack of concentration?  Yeah. This is depression.  How do I know?  I googled it.  Too bad you can’t google a cure.  

So while I pray for God to help me, I will try everything I can to dig myself out.  I am pretty sure it has something to do with a medication that my Rheumatologist was trying on me.  It tore up my stomach and my mind and I am now hurting in places I didn’t know could hurt.  I quit the medication but the depression, RA pain and stomach damage is still there.  And since I believe medication caused this mess, I have no desire to medicate this side effect of the medication.  

I know Lord, you don’t usually fix my problems but you give me strength to bear up under them.  Please Lord, give me strength.  Thank you for giving me the strength to finish this blog. That was a major breakthrough.