Stranger Than Fiction

 Just because you have seen the movie doesn’t mean you can’t read the book. Because as we all know, nine times out of ten, the book is better than the movie. I say that to preface what I’m about to tell you.

If you asked me what book other than the Bible, brought me closer to God than any other, you would be shocked at my answer. Although I have read and loved books by C.S. Lewis, Henry Drummond, Watchman Nee, Timothy Keller, James Bryan Smith, Corrie ten Boom, Priscilla Shirer and many other inspired authors, they did not change my life as much as The Help by Kathryn Stockett. Yes, I am talking about that non-Christian genre, fiction book that was published in 2009 and later became a movie.

Before I explain this, first of all let me tell you that I believe we often underestimate the influence of fiction books. Fiction is able to slip up on you and convince you to try things that no frontal attack can.(Especially if you are as stubborn as me). So how did a silly fiction book, make an impact on my life? In the book, the main character had a habit of writing her prayers down so she would be able to look back and see how God answered them and not forget. This was the idea that I took to heart. It rang true because I often forgot what I asked of God and failed to thank Him for his answers. Gratitude matters.

At that point, I began writing down my prayers so I could look back and see God’s blessings in my life. And fifteen years later, you wouldn’t believe the blessings that I have been able to witness! They were blessings that I would have forgotten or overlooked had I not recorded them. And on a side note, it also got me started writing. Once I began writing regularly, it became easier to put my thoughts on the page. This is where the blogging thing originated. It all started with a fiction book.

There is No Such Thing as a Bully

“Here comes Lizzy”! And we would all scatter. Lizzy was a teenage girl in our church who was clingy and a little different. We were not tolerant or loving toward her. We avoided her and did nothing kind to her. We didn’t include her in our plans if we could avoid it comfortably. When someone was convicted to be kind and stepped out, they were isolated with Lizzy. Looking back, I am ashamed of my choice to follow the crowd. And the crowd was comprised of really nice people when you talked to them individually. Each has grown up to be a good kind person. The crowd mindset was the bully. The individuals were not.

I believe a bully is a group because they act together or with the approval of the accepted members. They only appear to act as an individual but they act only for the approval of the group. Each individual is a coward. Sometimes there is a leader of sorts. That is usually a charismatic extrovert who is a spokesman. But fellow introverts, we don’t get off that easy. Without all of the introverted backers this person would not be in charge. The bully is a crowd. Not limited to a crowd of neighborhood kids, it can be a crowd of adults sitting behind their phone posting memes and laughing.

If you think bullying is limited to kids you would be mistaken. As we all know, some of the worst cases of bullying happen between adults at work. However, we label adult office bullying as ‘toxic work environment’. It usually happens when leadership is unfair, ineffective or oblivious that a new leader of sorts steps up and takes over. The bully is made up of a mixture of insecure individuals who find security in fitting in. It is comprised of those who know they are wrong and don’t have the courage to rock the boat, and those who choose not to think but enjoy the thrill of belonging the majority.

What about Hitler? Wasn’t he an example of an individual bully? Well yes, but he would have just been a crazy individual who lived and died alone without followers. His group was the bully. It took thousands of unthinking cowards to commit all the atrocities credited to Hitler alone.

It is not wrong to belong. Humans are by nature pack animals. We belong to families, friend groups, churches, neighborhoods, political parties, and work cohorts. We love waving the flag of countries, states, churches, teams and politicians. We wear the T-shirt. We post memes reflecting the beliefs of our groups. We put bumper stickers on our vehicles. This only becomes wrong when we follow, wave or post without thinking or questioning actions and words of the group. When we wear the t-shirt, we are giving our stamp of approval to the ideology of the group. If we quit analyzing this, we start bullying. We must be thinkers.

What groups do I currently belong to? It is these groups that can be cowards who go with the flow no matter what is said or done. It seems to be rare to find a group of inclusive people who are like-minded but maintain the courage to speak up or step out of the group if they get off track. I must be careful when a group I belong to acts or speaks in ways that are not what Jesus taught. If I keep my mouth shut and continue to belong, I am the bully. If I continue to wave the flag of the group I am the bully. If I don’t think about words iterated by the group, I am the bully.

Lord, forgive me for the times I have belonged without thinking. Help me always question the beliefs of any group I belong to. Give me the courage to step away when it is out of your will.

Bless My Husband's Heart

I worked on a new blog all day. Then I realized my thoughts were not cohesive and I needed more understanding before I published it. So it will not be published. Following is an explanation of my strange writing process and how I decide whether a blog is ok to publish or if it needs work.

I have been told I can be a condescending know-it-all and if I was a man, I would be called a mansplainer. My reason for explaining so much is really simple so let me ‘womansplain’ it to you and maybe someone out there can relate.

Teaching is the way I learn. And I love to learn! Yep. I have been doing this since I was a little tyke sitting in my bedroom explaining lessons to my imaginary friends. By voicing the steps of a new procedure or thought I quickly find the holes in my understanding then go back and search for the missing pieces. Sometimes my theory is hopeless and sometimes I learn something new. Occasionally, it leads me to a new area of interest.

When I read a book that has interesting new ideas that I have never heard before, I have to either voice them to my poor husband, teach them to myself or blog about it to see if I really understand it. By the time I finish, I have internalized the information and understand what I don’t understand. This is what it takes to get stuff through my thick head.

When I was in college I was taught that there were different types of learners. Unfortunately my type was never discussed. I wish I was like those of you who can simply learn by tinkering, reading or listening. And if you think what I’m saying is crazy-talk, you are probably one of those fortunate souls. Please be tolerant of my nonsense. I am learning.

And bless my husband’s heart.