A Fresh New Sunrise

There are painful moments that define everyone’s life.  This is what my current Bible study by Lisa Harper about Job has been digging through.  This process has been tearful and healing beyond belief.  It has been therapy for my soul.  

Before this study, I always minimized my scars, swept them under the rug, and moved on.  I never thought they affected my current reality until the prying questions in Lisa’s book forced me to look at my pain.  That is when God connected the dots in my mind. I traced some breadcrumbs of current bitterness all the way back to my childhood.  I finally admitted to myself and to God that those multiple abrasions of childhood where indeed very unfair and a big burden for a small child. I realized that I wasn’t being a whiner-baby over something insignificant!  The fact that I remember that pain decades later is enough to tell me that I endured significant hardship as a child.  Knowing many children have had it worse, I always felt unworthy to cry about what I went through, but 55 years later I finally cried tears visualizing myself as a child enduring my lot in life. 

Through this process I realized that it is impossible to heal when you refuse to admit that you were wronged.  You just continue building bitterness every time the memory rears it’s ugly head.  But I also realize that only God can heal and being aware of this helps me remember to bring it to him whenever I feel that sting.  Now I must let go and lay it in the Father’s lap, walking away to a fresh new sunrise.  

Thank you Lord, for being my healer.