Good Christian Frenemies

When there is a fire, we assume someone did something to start it.  When there is a natural disaster, we blame bad geographical choices, when there is a divorce, we blame one or both parties, when there is an accident we assume texting, falling asleep or drinking was involved.  When anything evil happens, we analyze, explain and blame.  I am an analyzer and I constantly catch myself doing this.  

“Where there is smoke, there is fire!”  This is my least favorite saying because sometimes there is just smoke.  Sometimes smoke is just pure, undeserved evil.  We live in a dangerous world full of it.  At several vulnerable points in my almost 60-year-old life, I found myself surrounded by miserable circumstances that were not of my own making, yet those around me assumed I was somehow to blame. This speculation coming from friends caused more misery than the circumstance that initiated it. And I repeat for emphasis: assumptions of friends separate and cause more pain than the painful life situation itself.  

This blame-game is as prevalent today as it was in the ancient times of Job.  Job had those friends. Job had three friends who came to visit him and sat in silence for a few days, then busted out with accusations of how he must have done something bad to deserve this tortured life.  Today we would call these three guys ‘frenemies’. I think this was yet another layer of Job’s torture.  Trying to straighten out these three clowns Job called friends was an exercise in futility.  If you have not experienced it yet, you will.  When things get tough, many good Christian frenemies point fingers.  

We are so indoctrinated with the idea of deservedness!  And by we, I mean the whole human race.  The mindset of deservedness is universal.  It sometimes goes by the name Karma.  We think somehow if we are good folks, good will happen to us and if we are evil, we get evil back in our face.  It is true that many times we reap what we sow. However, this assertion is not reversible!  If we encounter evil, it does not mean we have been evil.  If we are surrounded by good, it does not mean we are good.  Sometimes there is too much rain, poor soil, drought, disease, pests or even natural disasters out of our control and we do not reap what we sow. Sometimes marriages fall apart, kids are lost to addictions, loved ones die of cancer or good people are in the right place at the wrong time and suffer for the rest of their lives.  

Pardon my French, but maybe a kinder, gentler and honestly, more Christian point of view is “sh*t happens” instead of the “where there is smoke there is fire” phrase.  Maybe we need to quit analyzing evil and take it at face value.  This is incredibly scary because if we believe evil just happens and is not earned, then we are no longer in control.  This is a truth that is difficult to accept.  Yet should we chose this path, we will quit being frenemies and start being true friends.