FOMO

Fishing in the spring is my jam and not once did the weather cooperate with my fishing plans during spring break!  Poor me..... Last Sunday was the only day to go fishing and I felt bad, too bad to go.  There was no way this right arm could cast in this condition.  So...I stayed home.  All day.  I. Did. Nothing.  My right arm said no. No computer work. No blogging. No cleaning. No reading. No chopping vegetables. No sewing. No gardening. Books weren’t even a great option because I was at that awkward in-between stage in the life of a reader where I miss the last book and am not enthused about the next book. And since it was gorgeous outside I had no desire to watch TV.  

So I walked around and looked at the nature on my property and watch my husband work like a mad man.  It was then that I met her.  I met my neighbor.  I am ashamed to say that I have lived next to her for TEN YEARS.  I have no excuse. Never in these ten years have I slowed down enough to have a conversation with my neighbor.  While I was on this roll, I walked over to visit with my neighbor on the other side.  I thoroughly enjoyed talking to her too.  As it turns out the “missing out” was not about fishing but  about having a conversation with my neighbors.  

FOMO, fear of missing out, is more prevalent today since we are constantly barraged with opportunities.  And 99% of them are good!  How do we chose when career, church, spouse, kids, children, grandchildren, funerals, weddings and birthday parties happen all on the same week? This is all in addition to the necessaries of work, cooking, cleaning, shopping, laundry, and on and on.  

Here are 7 typical criteria that are commonly used when booking schedules.

1. Spouse is first. 
2. Family always first. 
3. Kids first, adults last. They need our support.  
4. Church always first. The other stuff is not as important. 
5. Career furthering first.
6. Try to squeeze in all of them, running breathless from venue to venue.  
7. Treat my world according to my calendar. First come, first served.  If you want my attention, get a spot on my calendar pronto! My calendar makes my apologies.  Everyone understands that.  

Chances are that you designate your time much like your parents taught you.  And if you don’t, you feel a little guilty about that.  But they lived in another time.  They did not have access to all the invitations that we have.  There was limited access to transportation and information. So how do we choose?  What is our rule of thumb?  How can we ever hope for spontaneity and relationships again?  

My first stop will be with that Sabbath thing God created. God designated rest in one of the Big Ten.  He designed our bodies to need rest.  This means we must choose.  Not to choose is to run ragged.  

Of course we should always defer to our living example of perfection. WWJD? Even Jesus stopped and spent quiet, intimate time with his disciples rather than always being out with the masses.  He also chose intimate dining in the homes of socially unacceptable folks.  He knew his time was short and his days were numbered, yet he spent time as if there was no deadline, giving his full attention to each individual.  Then he retreated into quiet places to be alone with his Father regularly.  

Think about the last funeral you attended. Would you have dropped everything to go play cards with that person with only a few day’s notice while they were alive?   For me, the answer would, sadly, have been no.  And yes, I realize that dropping everything to attend a funeral is one of the few socially accepted reasons to change our plans while dropping everything to go play cards is not. 

But does it have to be that way?  Must we be forced into a gridlock schedule of socially accepted values?  Have we trapped ourselves and our personal relationships with our iron-clad scheduling?   When was the last time you cancelled on an event just to have some face-to-face time with someone?  I’m not talking about observing your child’s peewee game.  That is not face-to-face even when we cheer loudly from the sidelines.  That is not the intimate attention that children crave.  Car time comes a little closer but since hand held devices will quickly consume this time together, it is not.  Movies are not either.  I’m talking about personal interaction of playing games, walking side-by-side hiking, camping, fishing, building a fort or campfire type time.  How many sporting events must we observe to equal in quality interaction one single game of Go Fish? 

Making memories with my enchilada construction team.

What if for one week we cleared our schedule of anything outside of work that was not face-to-face, creating margin in our week.  Margin is where spontaneity begins.  Margin is where relationships begin.  What if we reassessed our calendar and we placed priority on relationships choosing quality over quantity?