God Provides

Sometimes my husband and I get into silly banter about who grew up poorest. He will talk about how he ate Spam or the food from dented cans and I will counter with saying my family was so poor that we thought only rich people got to eat Spam. Truth be told, neither of us missed a meal. God always provided.  

The following story of God's provision in my life comes to mind from reading in 1 Kings 17 about how the Prophet Elijah finds a widow who is gathering sticks for kindling to bake bread from the remains of her flour. He proceeds to ask her to cook him up some bread from her rationed stash of flour she has left at home. And she does!  She shares out of her poverty and her life is blessed by God. It seems that God's provision was multiplied by her willingness to share. 

There was a short time in my life when I did experience poverty. This is my story of God's provision in that time. I was raised to give ten percent of my earnings to my church, off the top. This started  as a small child with my allowance. So, in 1985, at the age of 26, I came to a time in my life where I didn’t have enough and continued this practice anyway, knowing it was God who took care of me and my girls and not my first-year teacher’s salary. It was not easy. I searched the couch cushions on more than one occasion, hoping to find enough change for a gallon of milk. And once, unbeknownst to me, one of my monthly paychecks got lost on the way to be deposited. This caused my checks for everything from rent to utilities to bounce accumulating extra fees! There were trials for sure. God did not dump cash from the sky. However, he did provide what I needed, when I needed it, teaching me some very important life lessons on the way.  

One of the lessons he showed me was the beauty of His provision through the generosity of the people around me. In the tiny West Texas town of Olton, in which I worked as a high school biology teacher, people became aware of my need. It began with a sweet couple from my nearby college town who helped me moved into my new home with my 6-year-old daughter and new baby girl on a cold, rainy winter day. My new rental house was my first peek at God's provision at a bargain of $350 a month, and was so new, it smelled like fresh cut wood. 

Over time, people seemed to come out of the woodwork to help me. My landlord rescued me when my heater pilot light went out and in the summer, a church member let me borrow a mower. My church saw my need and asked if they could help by paying my monthly school loan bill. The secretary at the school where I worked put $40 in my Christmas card. Friends often invited me and my girls over to dinner. My students threw a surprise birthday party for me. The elementary school counselor counseled and loved my 6-year-old who missed her daddy. And being selected to be the flower girl at homecoming, she started to realize that life goes on without her daddy. The head of department where I worked kept me laughing with his dry sense of humor and in those stressful times when my girls got sick, he let me keep my daughter on his office couch while I taught. 

Not one of those acts of kindness was solicited. There was no reason to publish my need in social media posts or a GoFundMe page. Many of these necessities were met before I realized the need. The people of Olton were listening to God and being obedient. Generosity required that those people paid attention to God and to other's needs around them. They were unselfish, big-hearted, watchful and helpful, acting as God’s hands and feet. Generosity took on many forms and the smallest act of kindness was significant in my life. Thankfully, this season of my life was short, but I will never forget their generosity and what God taught me.  

Have A Great Day

Recently, through a series of sermons and Bible readings on bravery, it has been shown to me that a great day is not a day without battles, but a day fighting the battles placed before me through God’s power. This is the brave life. This was an epiphany to me and even though I knew better, I somehow expected those days of following Christ to be peaceful. Now I see why there is so much talk of weaponry and strategy in the Bible.  If we are not battling, we are not living bravely.  And as Christians, we are called to be brave.  

However, the battles are not against groups of people and nations, like the world. One of my favorite Bible passages says it best. 

2 Corinthians 10:3-5 NIV [3] For though we live in the world, we do not wage war as the world does. [4] The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds. [5] We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.

Instead, I have found that many times I am fighting myself and my own selfish desires while I am fighting the evil of this world. For those who serve behind the lines, our battle is not visible or splashy.  It may look more like picking up one foot and putting it in front of the other while every fiber of our being wants to quit. Some people are given the front line battles like teaching, law enforcement, health care, advocating for the homeless, helping the children on the border, rescuing victims of human trafficking, and the list goes on.  However, most of us must battle daily against the hang ups and habits in our own life while showing up everyday for our job and quietly giving it all. This is done in spite of the lack of rewards. This takes bravery.

I have seen and read about many Christians who fought the battles placed in their hearts by God. There are many examples from the Bible. Esther, Abraham, Moses, Peter, Paul, John, Deborah, Rahab, Joseph and Daniel all are examples of bravery in action. I draw strength by reading their stories, placing myself in their place. 

Sometimes we are called to bravely advocate for a single acquaintance even when, so often, those who are on the receiving end will later turn on this support. This is when we realize the fight is not fought for kudos from those around us but as a passionate obedience to our Savior. 

What is your battle?  I’ll bet you fight several daily if you listen to the desires the Holy Spirit placed in your heart.  They are Holy.  Don’t give up or give in. Keep your chin up and know you are commissioned by the great high God.  It is a privilege to be His brave child. Remember, a great day is not a day without battles.

Poison

This blog is not intended to give the impression that my life is all smooth and perfect. My life in Christ is messy. It is not a beautiful linear pathway to heaven. Today’s blog speaks of my most recent struggle in which there have been many days where I do not listen to God. It speaks of my humanity and flaws. Honestly, I have found life in Christ to be full of difficulties. It most certainly is not the easy road.

In July I felt convicted to break a personal bad habit. To help break my bad habit, I added the memorization of scripture into my quiet time. And to keep myself accountable, I daily assessed the success of the previous day. At first, I saw positive changes and was encouraged. Then stress entered from stage left and it was not long before failures turned to the harsh voices from my past. These voices started gaining a new grip on my mind. These voices had the ability to raise memories from the bottom of the ocean of my thoughts. They demeaned and accused and left me in tears. They attacked when I least suspected it and when I was most vulnerable. And as the calendar rolls into September, my bad habit is not conquered and these critical voices are a distraction and a thorn in my side. 

Occasionally, this evil retreats leaving nothing but beautiful blue skies and the precious voice of my Savior telling me how he loves me. Then, without warning, they march in and siege my mind once again. Yes, there are names for this issue. Just throw it in the pile with all the other labels. Naming it does not help. It is my gift from the heartless Enemy. That slimy lizard loves to pull this crap! But you know what? He is not as powerful as my God. And I know that my God will march in and kick that name-calling bully in the tail. When? I don’t know. That is faith talking and not my reality. My reality is survival mode.

Then this happened. This song was placed in my path. Here it is.

Sound of Surviving by Nichole Nordeman

I am reminded that only a life of bravery and challenge experiences failure and that I was never promised an easy life with no hardship; even if the hardship is dealing with myself. I am reminded to be brave. Sometimes the bravest thing I can do is to keep on keeping on. So here I am blogging, working and striving to break my personal chains.

Psalm 25:3-5 ESV[3] Indeed, none who wait for you shall be put to shame; they shall be ashamed who are wantonly treacherous. [4] Make me to know your ways, O LORD; teach me your paths. [5] Lead me in your truth and teach me, for you are the God of my salvation; for you I wait all the day long.

My prayer today is that I will listen for Your voice, Lord. Please quiet my demons. I will not give up hope. You are on your way to rescue me. You always do. You are my hero.