Let It Be

 This time of year a picture of “happily married with two kids and a golden-doodle all in matching pajamas by a roaring fireplace” runs around in our heads and we measure how badly we miss that ideal, making ourselves miserable for all the shortfalls. “Christmas is the most wonderful time of the year” is the biggest lie we tell ourselves in Western culture. Yes, the music is heavenly and the lights are glorious but beyond that, there is life as usual. Actually, life as usual is amped up and stress to fit the mold is heightened. We feel we must keep everyone happy-clappy and when we fall short, and we do, we have to deal with unmet expectations.

So what if we put an end to the need to measure up to that impossible picture of perfection? What if we take a step back and not. Not make all those expected treats and not wring our hands over missed loved ones and not set the bar at an unattainable level? What would that look like? It may look like no Christmas cards, empty chairs, fewer stocking stuffers, or fewer lights on the house. 

Or maybe it would look like missing your mom and being alone away from family and friends with a new spouse in a dirty lonely dark cave used for animals while preparing a place for a newborn baby from a slobber covered feed trough and the smell of manure all around. There is no clean water, no comforts of home and no one believes your story of an angel and virginity. The birth is painful and the baby is born. What next? The birth of the King is celebrated not by authorities and leading rabbis, but by handicapped smelly, thieving sheep-herders who claim to have been heralded by a host of angels. Is this what the God of the universe intended?

So maybe it is time to let the cliche picture in our heads go. Maybe the best gift we could give ourselves this Christmas is to not expect anything out of the ordinary but to let it be as Mary did so long ago. 

Hoarding Toilet Paper and Winning the Lottery

 

Why do people hoard toilet paper and why do we buy lottery tickets? When Covid happened we all went into a hyperdrive of scarcity. People immediately started hoarding for themselves, forgetting that other people were out there who might need what we shoved in one of the many closets of our houses. I believe it all comes from a mindset. There is a mindset of scarcity and there is a mindset of abundance. Here is a link to a reminder of what each looks like. 

https://images.app.goo.gl/hSjcd7nQ8AFEPs548

This scarcity mindset is the same mindset behind wanting to win the lottery. Only it is the flip side. We recognize the chains of scarcity, in fact we are sick of it, and we are trying to resolve this issue by winning the lottery. We think, “If only I had abundant winnings I would be generous, powerful, loved, sought after, respected, and listened to”. This is our solution to end the slavery of scarcity we deal with daily. Imagine if we could shed these chains without winning the lottery. Imagine living in a world where there was abundance. Imagine what Christ followers would look like if we truly believed God would supply ALL of our needs. 

Philippians 4:19 NIV – And my God will meet all your needs according to the riches of his glory in Christ Jesus. 

This mindset of abundance is the Kingdom mindset of Christ. Imagine being so confident God will provide what we need that we have no reservations about sharing our time, attention, applause, or wealth. Imagine being able to free ourselves from being a slave to scarcity. Imagine never worrying about getting ahead, about getting enough love and attention, about getting enough worldly goods so that we could freely share. We, as Christ followers, would definitely stand out in this world rather than blending in unrecognizably.

I’ll say it again; this mindset of abundance is the Kingdom mindset of Christ. Imagine being confident that God will provide our every need, even toilet paper! Imagine being able to free ourselves from being a slave to scarcity. Imagine never worrying about getting ahead, about getting enough love and attention, about getting enough worldly goods so that we could freely share. 

It seems to me that the mindset of scarcity is earthly and the mindset of abundance is heavenly. Jesus demonstrated this for us. He never was rushed or worried. He didn’t even get riled up when his disciples reported the competition of someone driving out demons in His name. Imagine rejoicing when someone else is getting the applause, the attention, the credit. Imagine giving without worrying if there was enough for ourselves. Imagine welcoming those seeking a safe place to call home. Imagine seeing fellow sinners with the eyes of Christ and no judgement. This would indeed turn my world upside down. Jesus was the author of the upside down world. 

How do I break this vicious thought pattern of scarcity? The first step of change is always the same: to become aware of my need and desire to change it. Do I really want to change? Until my heart is transformed into desire for a Kingdom mindset, I will not change. And transformation comes by seeking Christ in prayer and scripture daily. 

We as Christ followers must choose a hundred times a day which mindset we will use to view our world. Christians are heavenly bound, Spirit filled bodies trapped on a foreign planet of opposition. We were born with that earthly mindset and must remember every moment of our day to see our world through that heavenly mindset of abundance because in Christ, we have won the lottery! So maybe it is time that we live into that reality of a world of infinite abundance. No jealousy, no competition, no hunger, no poverty. We would look out for the other guy because we know that our father, the King of the Universe, provides generously and abundantly for us.

Rule Number 1

 “I’m telling.” These are the words of a child who sees an offense and feels powerless to stop it. I can picture two scruffy little boys in a back lot playing kickball and having this discussion. And the reply that would often come from the offender was, “Who you gonna tell?” To which the first child thinks and comes up with the biggest most powerful person they know. “I’m telling the President…….of the United States!”

I think we Americans still have that opinion buried somewhere in our minds. Like the child above, deep down we think that the government can fix all the wrongs and make them right. We have always confused the President with our God. And, best as I can tell, this is idolizing or breaking rule number 1 of our big ten. 

How can you tell this is idol worship? We place all our hope in election results. Rent-free, we post our idol’s sign in our yard in hope to convert our neighbors to our way of thinking. We tolerate defamation of the character of the other candidate and we often take part in this act even to the extent of ghosting friends who don’t agree with our point of view. We cling to every bit of news on election night hoping our candidate has won control and our stomach gets in knots over the possibility of loss of our savior. Government has become our god. This is idolatry at its finest. 

So while we are slapping signs of our ten rules on every surface, maybe we should take another gander at rule #1. 

When to Worry

 When friends or family go through loss, illness, difficulties in health, job security, or relationships, I pray for them. And I worry. But I realized the other day that my biggest worries are never for those who I know are strong in their faith. The ones who live their life depending on God for their strength suffer the same as everyone else but there is hope in their hearts that they depend on for strength. I know they will come out on the other side stronger in their faith than they were before. Deep down, this is truth. 

It is those who never speak of their faith, who never spend quality time learning about Christ, who focus on this finite world and never the eternal next, who worry me the most. How will they withstand the storms of this difficult life? What happens when the bootstraps they pull themselves up by, break? I worry because I know how weak I am. I know my own lack of strength. I know that sometimes life gives me more than I can handle. I worry that they will not know how to ask the Savior to rescue them because they have never prepared their hearts for this. I worry because it is so hard to watch loved ones make the wrong choices knowing there is nothing I can do. 

But then I remind myself that the loving God I know, loves them with an intensity that puts mine to shame. And I know He does have the power to do something about their needs. And I know that He knows exactly the perfect next move for them in this complex chess game of life. He plays chess while my mind plays checkers. I know He welcomed the Prodigal son. I know He calmed the sea. I know He healed the lepers. I know He will leave the 99 sheep to look for the lost one. 

So the answer to the question about when to worry is NEVER. God is in control. 

Uniquely Gifted

 

What gift do you bring to the table? God has blessed our lives on earth with many gifts or skills. We need to stop and take some time to appreciate this and realize there is no gift too little or invaluable. So to get folks thinking, I brainstormed the following list. All of them come from what I have seen in my friends and family. I hope this list will give you a few grins. I also hope you will spot some of your gifts and some the gifts of others as you patiently read my list. And I hope you thought of many gifts that I left off of this list. 

• Changing a diaper without gagging
• Navigating new places without GPS
• Making a killer charcuterie board
• Cake decorating
• Writing poems to express your thoughts and emotions
• Prompting people to talk while you listen attentively
• Making friends with total strangers anywhere you go
• Noticing details that everyone else misses
• Maintaining a gorgeous lawn 
• Finding a bargain
• Explaining difficult concepts in a way that is understandable
• Frying an egg over easy without breaking the yolk
• Encouraging the discouraged
• Gift wrapping
• Telling great stories
• Making people laugh
• Having a contagious laugh
• Forgetting grievances
• Finding new ways of doing things
• Discerning lies
• Recognizing manipulation and not giving in to it
• Only making positive social media posts
• Being supportive of positive posts on social media
• Scrolling past negativity on social media
• Making phone calls or texts to check on folks
• Inviting people to join you in fun endeavors
• Catching fish or hunting
• Making a great meal from only the stuff left in the pantry
• Picking good movies
• Reading
• Unhurriedly stopping to listen 
• Praying for others
• Praying for your enemies
• Caring for animals
• Playing board games or card games with friends
• Playing video games
• Driving with ease and confidence 
• Smiling
• Hugging
• Keeping disorganized people organized
• Caring for people who are ill
• Understanding nutrition
• Dog training
• Training little people
• Making learning interesting
• Caring for the elderly
• Understanding and explaining laws
• Finding the good in a bad situation
• Having a naturally sunny disposition
• Knowing when to quit
• Knowing when to get busy
• Loving work
• Loving staying at home
• Loving to travel
• Reading great literature
• Loving to learn
• Fixing technology
• Enthusiasm about exercising
• Loving music
• Being at home in the great outdoors
• Spotting the fingerprints of God in an ordinary day
• Spotting the fingerprints of God during bad days
• Dancing
• Balancing a budget
• Keeping plants alive…green thumb
• Learning then applying that new knowledge to improve
• Accepting others as they are 
• Speaking more than one language
• Cleaning anything to a shine
• Organizing a closet
• Creating great outfits on a budget
• Talking folks off the figurative ledge
• Decorating on a budget
• Following instructions
• Filling in when there is a need
• (Keep this list going in your head)

What can we do with all these gifts? Here are a few take-aways. 

Recognize that we need each other because we can’t be all things and value what you have to give and what others have given you. Appreciate that this list is endless and there is enough for everyone so criticism and jealousy are a scarcity mindset that must be eliminated because we need other folks to do what we can’t. And understand that any gift on this list can be shared to develop the relationships in our life because God works through relationships. 

Skibidi Ohio and Doo Wop

 I once heard a story of Oprah that said she quit following the Christian faith when she read scripture that said God is a jealous God. She said that she couldn’t follow anyone who said they were jealous. I have no idea if this story is true but I get it. No one would want to follow a God that was jealous in the sense of the word that we currently understand. But if this story is true, what she didn’t consider was the meaning behind the interpreted word, jealous.

Much like the title of this blog, jealous is an easily misunderstood stump-the-band kind of word. And to make it more difficult, this same English word bears different meanings in different parts of the Bible. Its use in describing God in Exodus and Zechariah is very different from its use in 1 Corinthians that tells us love is not jealous.

Our present day understanding of jealousness bears the following synonyms.

envious, covetous, resentful, begrudging, bitter, malicious, spiteful, greedy, selfish

This is not my understanding of God! After a bit of searching, I found the biblical meaning in a footnote in the Amplified version of the Bible.

“There is no implication of envy in the ‘jealousy’ of God, but rather the boundless enthusiasm of the Lord which loves holiness, hates sin, brings judgment upon sinners, and intervenes on behalf of His godly ones.” ~Charles Feinberg, God Remembers.

Am I adept in ancient Hebrew? Do I have a degree in theology? No and no. I simply listened to the Voice that told me my current-day understanding was wrong and investigated using tools that anyone can access today. I stopped reading and searched these tools. I didn’t leave this passage until I found the answer from a trusted source that was in line with the God that I know. 

As I understand it, interpreting ancient texts is nothing like translating from one language to another present day language. When my understanding of new Gen Z terms like “skibidi Ohio” is sketchy, how can text from over 3000 years ago be easy to decipher? Imagine how someone 2000 years from now would understand the title of this article.

I must rely on people who study this ancient language for a living. One theologian (I can’t remember who), said that the Bible was a collection of works by inspired authors about their view of God from their place in history, each like a facet of a gemstone. So to understand scripture I must immerse myself in the culture of the author and read it from that perspective. 

Reading the Bible is not like reading a novel, although some parts like Esther are more readable than others. It is rather, a seeking-type reading. I must be careful not to pluck scripture out of context of the culture in which it was written and apply it to support my opinion. I am sure I have done this in my lifetime and I believe that those who do this publicly on social media will be held accountable for this someday, even if it is a click-of-the-button repost. 

I have an understanding of the character of God that came about over 65 years of sermons, prayers, Bible lessons and experiences. But I still need to slow down when I read the Bible. I still need to seek out meaning and not take everything at face value. I still need to listen to scholars who study the ancient text. But most of all, I need to listen to the Voice that tells me when I am getting it wrong and approach the Bible with an open heart and prayer.

John Wayne and Taylor Swift

 While some folks idolize Taylor Swift, this week I found that I idolized C.S. Lewis. Yes, I’m weird. While reading a book that shows the human side of Lewis, I saw him in truth. It portrayed him as a chain smoker and a slob. Not a very pretty picture. I would dare say that any truthful account of Taylor Swift would be no more flattering. 

We love to make people our heroes. We have them on a pedestal in our minds and sometimes on our T-shirts. We pay enough to feed a small country to go see them perform. We are a country obsessed with our heroes and they occupy every walk of life. They may be dancers, singers, politicians, talk-show hosts, athletes, theologians, firefighters, influencers, health care workers, preachers, world leaders or John Wayne. They are everywhere!

There would be a tongue-lashing for anyone who pointed out the ordinary flaws in our hero. While the rest of us are quite unremarkable with hangups and habits, loving the wrong things, we get defensive; not wanting to admit the human frailties of our idol. You know never to smack talk that one person to your significant other. Don’t be smack-talking Elvis! You just don’t go there for the sake of sanity. 

Who is your person on a pedestal? Who do you follow? What if you took off the rosy celebrity glasses? What if you were honest? What if you saw that each is only a struggling human with hangups and habits just like yours? Would that be too deflating? That is how I felt while reading of the chain-smoking C.S. Lewis. But this, I believe, was a step in the right direction. When all of the pedestals in our life are knocked down we are able to get a clearer view. Maybe we will be able to see that there is only One who deserves that pedestal. And we crucified Him. 

Looks Like Somebody Prayed

 When people say, “All we can do is pray” it bothers me. It is the best thing and the first thing we should do, not the last. What if you had a loving powerful confidante who cares for every little thing about your day—someone who would act on your requests in a surprising and efficient manner—someone who never got tired of your requests and stood by you in the most difficult of circumstances? Would you wait until you tried everything else before you ask him for help?

Here is what I have learned so far. You have to make the effort to get to know Him. You have to learn to recognize Him by his actions. You have to constantly seek his companionship because he isn’t pushy. He won’t step in and solve your issue unless you ask and believe that he can. And even when He solves those issues you have to pay attention or you will miss the opportunity to see what he has done. 

He will fix things in your life in his own way, which is not always your way, but is always in the best way. In some situations He carries you through the heartbreak. He is with you and he is developing your strength in this painful earth experience. Just focus on Him and you will realize you have made it through to the other side and are better for it. He is not a genie. He will not grant wishes. He is a BFF. He matures you. He makes you stronger. He always has your best at heart even when you cannot see it that way. 

Is there anything He won’t give you? Well, I think He will give you all you ask in his own time if it is asked in humility and in line with his heart. For example, if you ask for world peace he will surely give it to you but it is in his own time. He tells us in his Word that there will be wars and rumors of wars but he also tells us of a time when the wolf and lamb will graze together. So yes, he will answer that prayer for world peace, just probably not in the timing that we have in mind. To him, millennia are seconds on a clock. We cannot wrap our heads around how big He is. 

How do you get to know him? Pay attention. Yep, just pay attention. The best way to develop this sensitivity to His presence is to be grateful and read the stories written about Him. Realize that He created this universe and that everything amazing, creative and good, from laughter to coffee, comes from his hand. Everyday think of three new blessings for which He is responsible. (Although I thank Him for coffee everyday.) Give credit where credit is due. Develop that habit of gratitude. 

Next, when you ask him for something, watch for the answer. Don’t just set it down and run off and forget it. And don’t try to manipulate the answer. Trust me, I have tried this and it doesn’t work out. Let it go. It helps if you write down the request then go back and record how it was answered. Develop this habit. Again…pay attention to His work. Then praise Him for what he has done. 

Why am I so authoritative on this subject? Because He has answered my big and little prayers over and over again throughout my life! Oh, and sometimes he said no to my solution but he gave a far better one and I am so glad he did. It is only in the last twenty years of my life that I paid attention to what He is doing. I wish I had paid attention sooner. 

Trussst Me

Growing up in the USA in the 60’s and 70’s, I learned to trust my safety to society around me. It seemed like roads, cars, healthcare, government, law enforcement, and schools were all safe. But an honest look back showed me that this was not true.

We hurled our bodies down the highway at 80 mph without a seatbelt. We thought margarine was a health food and fresh vegetables only happened if you grew them yourself. Doctors smoked. Nuclear arms were tested near us. High school graduates were drafted to lose limbs and lives in a jungle. A president was assassinated. Prejudice influenced our law enforcement and judicial system. School playgrounds had wicked merry-go-rounds that worked like a centrifuge on steroids and we had sirens go off periodically to remind us that the USSR was coming for us with nuclear weapons. Billy Joel expresses this well in We Didn’t Start the Fire.

So is everything safe now? We all know that isn’t true after the highly trained, best-of-the-best secret service failed to protect a former President and hundreds of law enforcement officers failed to protect children from an armed kid in a classroom. So what is the point? We are not safe. We were never safe. We will never be safe on this earth. We should never place our faith in our government, our healthcare, our law enforcement or our schools. That gives us a false sense of security. They are all just fallible people; hired hands.

John 10:12-15 The hired hand is not the shepherd and does not own the sheep. So when he sees the wolf coming, he abandons the sheep and runs away. Then the wolf attacks the flock and scatters it. The man runs away because he is a hired hand and cares nothing for the sheep. "I am the good shepherd; I know my sheep and my sheep know me- just as the Father knows me and I know the Father-and I lay down my life for the sheep.

Instead of trusting people in powerful positions of our society maybe we should put our faith in the only One who loves us with his life and is the supreme almighty. If we have an issue, we should take it to the top; the omnipotent (unlimited power) omniscient (knowing the present past and future), omnipresent (everywhere at the same time), loving, compassionate Savior. We don’t understand His ways and often use that as an excuse not to trust Him. We have a choice: trust our lives to a fallible system of hired hands that can be manipulated or we can choose a Savior who is motivated by his love for us but whose ways we can’t fathom and we cannot orchestrate. It is ours to choose every morning.

Lord, you are in control. Help me give up my false sense of security in government and people and place my hope in You alone, taking everything to you in prayer.

All Sheep

 Lately the news has been full of stories about religious leaders admitting that they have succumbed to sinful destructive acts. This should be a wake-up call to us all. Isaiah tells us that we are ALL like sheep who have gone astray. No exceptions for high community status, no one is immune. It could happen to any of us if…

We are slowly dissecting the familiar passage of the 23rd Psalm this summer in my church. The whole passage is based on the analogy of people being the sheep and God as the shepherd. Through this study I have learned so much about sheep and shepherds that I never knew. This morning, one new item stands out to me. Sheep get into trouble easily. The author, David, who was a career shepherd knew this well. That is why sheep need a shepherd.

Notice that there are two types of dangers out there for the sheep. There are the ones that are part of their environment like sickness, infections or breaking a leg and there are the ones they get themselves into by wandering off and falling prey to predators.

In our world today I so often forget about that second category. I minimize the predators. So often I pretend there is no enemy out to get me and regard any suggestion of that as silly. The enemy is discussed in the 23rd Psalm and he is real. He wants us to wander around on our merry path of ignorance and forget that he is there stalking us, waiting for a moment when we get out of sight of the shepherd. The wise sheep have a healthy fear of the enemy and confidence in their shepherd. All they have to do is stay close to the shepherd and they will be protected.

Some may see this as a life of fear but in reality it is a life of trust and wisdom. For a sheep to pretend there are no lions, wolves, and bears is foolish. For a sheep to believe it is invincible is folly. We live in a world with many wily predators. We need a good shepherd and we need to learn to carry on with our lives while always keeping Him in our sight.

But how? I see that it takes two mindsets. First, we must have faith in our Shepherd. We must see Him as willing and able to protect us from those predators. Remember how David killed the lions and bears? Even more powerful is our Heavenly Father. He is our Savior and he loves us dearly and cares for us.

But in addition to seeing that our good God is able to conquer any enemy, I must come to grips with the reality that I can easily lose my way and that I am a sheep just like everyone else on the evening news. It is when I begin to think I know more than the other sheep and trust my life to my own ability that I become vulnerable to attack. I must continually, humbly admit to myself that I am in need of the Shepherd. This will keep me within the length of the shepherd’s staff where I am safe from harm.

If it has been a while since you thoughtfully read the 23rd Psalm take the time to do so. It is so rich.

Psalm 23:1-6
The LORD is my shepherd, I lack nothing. He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, he refreshes my soul. He guides me along the right paths for his name's sake. Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me. You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows. Surely your goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the LORD forever.

Answered Prayer

As a young Christian in the ‘70s, I spent a lot of my prayer life asking for world peace. I believe God will answer that prayer well past the timeline I had in mind as a teenager. As I grew older, my prayers changed. Some sounded like I thought God was a genie, but most sounded like I thought he would never really answer. Later I spent an enormous amount of time asking God to heal my broken marriage. He answered that prayer with a gut wrenching “no” and now, looking back, I am so glad. He had something so much better for me around the corner! Since then, there has been a much more personal heart-wrenching prayer that I prayed for 15 years that I have seen God answer. I can’t share it, but suffice it to say, it was BIG! Praise his Holy Name!

About ten years ago I discovered the beauty of writing my prayers. In fact, that is how I started blogging. I got so much practice at writing that I discovered a love for it. Back to my point. When I wrote down my prayers, I was able to go back and see what I asked and often I could see how He answered it. What a wonderful thing this has been for my walk of faith. God’s time is so different from my short attention span.(After all, it was God who created elephant’s memories.)

When reading over my past prayers, I see some of the things I couldn’t at the time. I see each uniquely designed answer. Some answers I am still waiting on but by reviewing God’s work in my life, I have begun to let go of the framework of time and have developed a hair more faith than I had when I was in my teens.

Since my expectations of God’s answers have no time frame, there is shock and awe in the random timing of His answers. For example, I was driving home the other day on the winding two-way, no passing road to our neighborhood. A “crotch-rocket” pulled out behind me on this narrow road and began tailgating me. The only thing that makes me more nervous than tailgaters is motorcycles and winding roads. I clenched the steering wheel and said a quick prayer for tailgating-crotch-rocket guy. Within a minute of that prayer, the guy passed me on a blind no-passing curve. I was relieved no one was coming the other way and he was out of my sight. Then, a minute later I rounded another curve and there was crotch rocket guy on the side of the road frantically trying to start his motorcycle. I was absolutely amazed that God answered my prayer so swiftly because that is not his usual MO. I thank God for sending me this reminder that he is listening and he answers prayer. 

Pride, Prejudice and Self-Checks

 

After listening to the news yesterday, I found myself shaking my head about folks who… And that is a problem. Not their problem; it is mine. Time for a reality check.

If I think I am not influenced by my culture, I probably am. If I think I know more than those other folks, I probably don’t. If I wonder how anyone could “fill-in-the-blank”, I could easily be a victim of the same behavior. If I ponder how folks could fall for “fill-in-the-blank”, I may be the next to fall. If I think folks in a particular other state are all clueless, I may be the clueless one. If I think my kids would never, my kids are out there “nevering” right now behind my back. If I think folks who watch that other news channel, go to that other church, vote for the other party, attend that other school, have lesser education, or are from the other generation are brainwashed, it may be me who has been indoctrinated.

Every so often I get fed up with those other folks and that is when I am most dangerous. That is when I am the problem. People may be flawed in different ways, but we are all still flawed. I have come to realize that it is when I watch the news and spend time on social media that I get most pompous about my good choices and their bad choices. It makes me feel angry, uptight and hopeless. That is my sign to step away. But not only do I need to back off of the news and social media, I need desperately to engage with folks that are living in a different walk of life than me. I need to see them eye to eye and listen to their stories. This is the only hope for my judgmental condition. This is the only way I can learn to humble myself and dig out of my prideful existence.

I must periodically remind myself that God made us all. We live all over a big globe. We are raised in so many different cultures. There is not a culture that has the inside track on wisdom. Only our Creator has the inside track on wisdom. He is our source. And this can only happen if we will humble ourselves, give up our stiff-necked ways and bow before Him.

Investing in Your Soul

 Belonging is a basic need of every person. To belong to a social club, you must perform, pay dues, work. To belong to any interest club you must be able to participate in the activities. Each group we belong to, from little league to chess club, requires our focus and time doing the activity that ties it together. At some point we will age out and life will take us on to a new group. Church is the one group in which we can’t age out and we must not perform to belong. But this is not the reason to attend church.

Church is a place to nurture your soul. We spend our days denying even having a soul and essentially starve it until mourning the loss of a loved one reminds us of the most important part of our being. We neglect nurturing our souls and it shows in our society. We need to tend to this most important part of our God-given life. Our children need to be taught of the existence of our soul and how to feed it. It is through good churches that we learn this. No place else gives us this food for our soul. Church plays a vital role that we often choose to overlook until it is too late.

I am too busy for church. I have so many boxes to check off during the week and church is just one more. Yes, attending church takes time but it is time invested, versus time wasted. That is a huge difference! Spending my time catching up on work or sleep versus spending time in church is the difference in renting and buying. It is the difference in junk food and fine cuisine. It is the difference in time spent building sand castles versus building a house. Yes, it takes my precious time. But the time will pass whether I use it wisely or not.

Maybe you are like me and have a picture of a church planted in your head. In my picture, the church is small and busy. It is Wednesday night choir practice while children chase fireflies on the front lawn. It is a short distance from my house. It is a place where everybody knows my name(like Cheers). They sing old gospel hymns and have amazing picnics.

But that is a picture from 1968. It is a memory. It is not reality. I have to let go of my image of a church in order to learn a new church; one that fits in the twenty-first century. Yes, there are still small local churches. But more often we see mega-churches where nobody knows your name and are a long road trip from your house. There is such a learning curve to belong to one of these monsters! It takes persistence and time to “belong” to one of these churches especially for introverts like me. But before you choose to join any church, here are a few questions you should ask yourself.

Is this church focused on Christ? Does this church pray and pray often? Does this church inspire you to learn more about God? Are members maturing as Christians through the guidance of this church? Does this church look like the community it serves or is everyone there about the same in age, race, and socioeconomic status? Do I have a desire to help this church in any capacity?

If you are currently a member of a church that you seldom attend and it is one more chore to check off the list, please consider making a change. Something is wrong. This is not what the church was meant to be. Not all churches are the same. The focus of the church should be Christ. If it is not, then it is another (rather deceptive) social club. There are many churches out there and there is no rule saying that you can’t visit them. It may take years to find your church family but every minute is worth it. Church is an investment in your soul and the time and trouble to find a church is far outweighed by the benefits to your soul.

You Are Never Too Old for Stories

 I love stories! If you ever went to Sunday School as a small child, you heard Bible stories. They were often accompanied by ancient pictures hung so high around the classroom that you must tilt your head way back to see them. I guess that was to keep our grimy fingers off of them. The lucky ones of us attended a church where they had a flannel-graph of the characters and the child who was most trusted got to stick the character on the flannel board when the teacher gave them the ok.

Then at some point we aged out of Bible stories and flannel-graphs. I don’t know who decided this. Maybe they just ran out of G-rated stories for littles since most Bible stories are definitely of the rougher variety. When I was a teen going to church, I loved it when I got to listen to an animated version of a Bible story told by an inspired youth director. They were so enthusiastic that they often included choreography which was frowned upon in my church. As an adult, I must admit that I still love an artfully told Bible story in the sermon. It takes me back to the time and place in which it was written and gives me a new understanding of a story I have heard a hundred times before.

As you can tell, I was privileged to hear the Bible through many different folks. In my daddy’s final years of life he told me that it was Hurlbut’s Story of the Bible by Dr. Jesse Lyman Hurlbut that led him to know Christ. Dad later became a minister. He told me that his mom used the scant money she had to buy this book from a door-to-door salesman. This would have been in the 1930’s(almost 100 years ago!). Dad said he devoured that book. It contained 168 stories of a continuous narrative from Genesis to Revelation.

Sometimes I feel that we ruined the Bible when we divided it into chapters and verses that can be quickly plucked out of time and cultural setting and posted on social media. The essence is lost and it becomes a weapon to reinforce our point of view. I believe the Bible was meant to be read as stories and not as a rule book or as history lessons and definitely not in individual verses plucked out of context, although I have been guilty of all of this.

Knowing the setting of a story is vital, yet somehow these stories transcend time and place and touch our hearts today. They take us into worlds we can never know and teach us lessons from other cultures and timeframes. Just as every book or movie must first introduce us to the cultural mores before it tells us the story, so must those Bible stories. And I can’t help but think that this is the correct way to read the Bible. We must step back into the strange traditions and rituals of the time when the story took place to truly understand it. For example, look at the ever-popular story of Daniel in the lion’s den. If we did not understand Daniel’s backstory and his heritage and the traumatizing events that took him to this strange land, we would not be getting the full story. And if we didn’t get the full story we would be missing out on much of the application to our own lives.

Reading the Bible without any knowledge of the culture is not really reading for understanding. It is an eyeball exercise in piety. The Bible is uniquely recorded by people from different centuries, cultures, socio-economic status and careers; including everything from kings to fishermen and felons to prophets. And the various characters include slaves, beautiful queens, hookers, virgins and eunuchs. The attitudes encompass everything from gratitude to bitterness and anger. The stories are so riveting that they are the stuff of movies like The Ten Commandments and the beautifully inspired stories in the series called The Chosen. Maybe it is time for us to take a trip through time and re-visit those ancient stories. And we need to do this in a most delightful way. Enjoy the journey.

Stranger Than Fiction

 Just because you have seen the movie doesn’t mean you can’t read the book. Because as we all know, nine times out of ten, the book is better than the movie. I say that to preface what I’m about to tell you.

If you asked me what book other than the Bible, brought me closer to God than any other, you would be shocked at my answer. Although I have read and loved books by C.S. Lewis, Henry Drummond, Watchman Nee, Timothy Keller, James Bryan Smith, Corrie ten Boom, Priscilla Shirer and many other inspired authors, they did not change my life as much as The Help by Kathryn Stockett. Yes, I am talking about that non-Christian genre, fiction book that was published in 2009 and later became a movie.

Before I explain this, first of all let me tell you that I believe we often underestimate the influence of fiction books. Fiction is able to slip up on you and convince you to try things that no frontal attack can.(Especially if you are as stubborn as me). So how did a silly fiction book, make an impact on my life? In the book, the main character had a habit of writing her prayers down so she would be able to look back and see how God answered them and not forget. This was the idea that I took to heart. It rang true because I often forgot what I asked of God and failed to thank Him for his answers. Gratitude matters.

At that point, I began writing down my prayers so I could look back and see God’s blessings in my life. And fifteen years later, you wouldn’t believe the blessings that I have been able to witness! They were blessings that I would have forgotten or overlooked had I not recorded them. And on a side note, it also got me started writing. Once I began writing regularly, it became easier to put my thoughts on the page. This is where the blogging thing originated. It all started with a fiction book.

There is No Such Thing as a Bully

“Here comes Lizzy”! And we would all scatter. Lizzy was a teenage girl in our church who was clingy and a little different. We were not tolerant or loving toward her. We avoided her and did nothing kind to her. We didn’t include her in our plans if we could avoid it comfortably. When someone was convicted to be kind and stepped out, they were isolated with Lizzy. Looking back, I am ashamed of my choice to follow the crowd. And the crowd was comprised of really nice people when you talked to them individually. Each has grown up to be a good kind person. The crowd mindset was the bully. The individuals were not.

I believe a bully is a group because they act together or with the approval of the accepted members. They only appear to act as an individual but they act only for the approval of the group. Each individual is a coward. Sometimes there is a leader of sorts. That is usually a charismatic extrovert who is a spokesman. But fellow introverts, we don’t get off that easy. Without all of the introverted backers this person would not be in charge. The bully is a crowd. Not limited to a crowd of neighborhood kids, it can be a crowd of adults sitting behind their phone posting memes and laughing.

If you think bullying is limited to kids you would be mistaken. As we all know, some of the worst cases of bullying happen between adults at work. However, we label adult office bullying as ‘toxic work environment’. It usually happens when leadership is unfair, ineffective or oblivious that a new leader of sorts steps up and takes over. The bully is made up of a mixture of insecure individuals who find security in fitting in. It is comprised of those who know they are wrong and don’t have the courage to rock the boat, and those who choose not to think but enjoy the thrill of belonging the majority.

What about Hitler? Wasn’t he an example of an individual bully? Well yes, but he would have just been a crazy individual who lived and died alone without followers. His group was the bully. It took thousands of unthinking cowards to commit all the atrocities credited to Hitler alone.

It is not wrong to belong. Humans are by nature pack animals. We belong to families, friend groups, churches, neighborhoods, political parties, and work cohorts. We love waving the flag of countries, states, churches, teams and politicians. We wear the T-shirt. We post memes reflecting the beliefs of our groups. We put bumper stickers on our vehicles. This only becomes wrong when we follow, wave or post without thinking or questioning actions and words of the group. When we wear the t-shirt, we are giving our stamp of approval to the ideology of the group. If we quit analyzing this, we start bullying. We must be thinkers.

What groups do I currently belong to? It is these groups that can be cowards who go with the flow no matter what is said or done. It seems to be rare to find a group of inclusive people who are like-minded but maintain the courage to speak up or step out of the group if they get off track. I must be careful when a group I belong to acts or speaks in ways that are not what Jesus taught. If I keep my mouth shut and continue to belong, I am the bully. If I continue to wave the flag of the group I am the bully. If I don’t think about words iterated by the group, I am the bully.

Lord, forgive me for the times I have belonged without thinking. Help me always question the beliefs of any group I belong to. Give me the courage to step away when it is out of your will.

Bless My Husband's Heart

I worked on a new blog all day. Then I realized my thoughts were not cohesive and I needed more understanding before I published it. So it will not be published. Following is an explanation of my strange writing process and how I decide whether a blog is ok to publish or if it needs work.

I have been told I can be a condescending know-it-all and if I was a man, I would be called a mansplainer. My reason for explaining so much is really simple so let me ‘womansplain’ it to you and maybe someone out there can relate.

Teaching is the way I learn. And I love to learn! Yep. I have been doing this since I was a little tyke sitting in my bedroom explaining lessons to my imaginary friends. By voicing the steps of a new procedure or thought I quickly find the holes in my understanding then go back and search for the missing pieces. Sometimes my theory is hopeless and sometimes I learn something new. Occasionally, it leads me to a new area of interest.

When I read a book that has interesting new ideas that I have never heard before, I have to either voice them to my poor husband, teach them to myself or blog about it to see if I really understand it. By the time I finish, I have internalized the information and understand what I don’t understand. This is what it takes to get stuff through my thick head.

When I was in college I was taught that there were different types of learners. Unfortunately my type was never discussed. I wish I was like those of you who can simply learn by tinkering, reading or listening. And if you think what I’m saying is crazy-talk, you are probably one of those fortunate souls. Please be tolerant of my nonsense. I am learning.

And bless my husband’s heart.

Hold on Loosely

 In church last Sunday I heard this quote and it resonated with me. In fact, so much so that I can’t get it off of my mind. So, naturally, I must blog about it.

What makes the temptation of power so seemingly irresistible? Maybe it is that power offers an easy substitute for the hard task of love. It seems easier to be God than to love God, easier to control people than to love people, easier to own life than to love life.

Henri Nouwen

This could possibly be the number one relationship pitfall. It happens between parents and children, spouses, friends, bosses and employees, and relatives.

I look at how God designed our universe. He always left the choices to us to accept or reject. He gave us instructions for success then he stepped back. He lets us fail yet he always lovingly welcomes us back into his open arms if we choose. He demonstrated the difference in love vs. control. I wonder how they seem to be opposites yet somehow one easily morphs into the other. Love holds on with a loose but unending hold accepting the other person, warts and all. It never lets go no matter the choices of the loved. It never looks away. It never gives up. See 1 Corinthians 13 for a refresher.

Control holds on with a suffocating grip. It lets go when the controlled doesn’t follow directives, lacks oxygen and in a desperate struggle for air, they have no choice but to break free and leave the controller. So power effectively suffocates love. What love and control have in common is relationship. They often feel the same to the controller. And sometimes what starts as love gradually becomes control. Control is an if-then relationship. Love is a no-matter-what relationship. Control happens slowly and leads to the demise of so many relationships.

If I could master this one thing, my relationships would be so much smoother. I believe that boundaries are needed to pull this off. These boundaries get breached one by one in long term relationships and I must learn to step back before it is too late. Look at the wisdom of 38 Special! I have sung these lyrics so many times but never stopped to listen to the message.

Hold on Loosely by 38 Special

You see it all around you
Good lovin' gone bad
And usually it's too late when you, realize what you had
And my mind goes back to a girl I left some years ago (who told me)

Just hold on loosely
But don't let go
If you cling too tightly
You're gonna lose control

Your baby needs someone to believe in
And a whole lot of space to breathe in
It's so damn easy, when your feelings are such
To overprotect her, to love her too much
And my mind goes back to a girl I left some years ago (who told me)
Just hold on loosely
But don't let go
If you cling too tight babe
You're gonna loose control

And usually it's too late when you realize what you had

Source: LyricFind 
Songwriters: James Peterik / Jeff Carlisi / Richard Donald Barnes

So what makes love such a hard task? Boundaries. Letting go when I know what will happen if my loved one makes the wrong choice. Keeping my mouth shut when my experience sees the pitfalls right in front of my partner. Letting my child make stupid mistakes and not saying “I told you so”. Being there to hold them after they have made those wrong choices. Oh, but this is so hard!

Remember the father in the Prodigal Son? He held on loosely.

 There are so many life lessons we can learn from sports. The applications are limitless and I don’t think that is a coincidence. While playing a game of keep away, have you ever seen someone engage eye contact with the opponent while quickly tossing the ball to a teammate? And because the opponent’s focus was on the wrong target they were fooled. However, that move never fooled this dog when his eye was on food. He was focused!

This guy always had his eye on the “ball”.

This reminds me of how I lose my focus on Christ when daily issues arise or adversity comes around. I pray for healing, for safety, for comfort and God often answers these prayers, but that is not the point. I have taken my eyes off of the ball and placed it on the issue in front of me. 

Time and time again Jesus addressed this issue to his followers. He tried to redirect the focus of people on what matters. He wanted them to keep their eye on the ball. In John 4:10 to the woman at the well who was focused on getting water to drink, He said, “If you knew the gift of God and who it is that asks you for a drink, you would have asked him and he would have given you living water.” In verse 32 of the same chapter, Jesus’ said to his disciples who were focused on getting Jesus to eat, “I have food to eat that you know nothing about.” 

Keep your eye on the ball. 

In John 6:26-27 to the people following him to the hillside by Galilee because they were healed and fed he said, “Very truly I tell you, you are looking for me, not because you saw the signs I performed but because you ate the loaves and had your fill. Do not work for food that spoils, but for food that endures to eternal life, which the Son of Man will give you. For on him God the Father has placed his seal of approval.” Then in verse 40 Jesus again tells this crowd to change their focus and look to God the Father and his Son. “For my Father’s will is that everyone who looks to the Son and believes in him shall have eternal life, and I will raise them up at the last day.”

Keep your eye on the ball. 

I believe that there is a game being played that we know nothing about. It is a game to steal our focus from what really matters. I believe it is played out every second of our life on earth and even shutting ourselves off in an empty room will not help us win this tug of war for our attention because much of the battle happens within us. But this all sounds rather hopeless and depressing. If only we had some power or equipment to help us win this daily struggle! 

But wait! There’s more! In verse 63 Jesus says his Spirit and his words are full of power. “The Spirit gives life; the flesh counts for nothing. The words I have spoken to you—they are full of the Spirit and life.” So we are better equipped than the enemy. And furthermore when Jesus is offering his final comforting words to his disciples in John 14:16-17 he says, “And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another advocate to help you and be with you forever— the Spirit of truth. The world cannot accept him, because it neither sees him nor knows him. But you know him, for he lives with you and will be in you. 

And we are reminded that our team has the best uniforms, pads, cleats, helmets and bats. In Ephesians, Paul tells us that we are equipped to win the game. 

Ephesians 6:12-18 NIV

For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the Lord’s people.

And last but definitely not least, light always wins over darkness. Its power is undeniable. We will win because we rely on God. He has the ultimate victory over the enemy. We see this in the first chapter of John’s gospel when he introduces us to God and his Son. In John 1:4-5, John says, “In him was life, and that life was the light of all mankind. The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it.”

So we must remind ourselves day by day, minute by minute that we are on the winning team with the power and authority of God the Father, Christ his Son and the Holy Spirit. We know how it ends. Just take a glimpse at Revelation chapter 22. We are on the winning team and on that we can place all our confidence and remember to…

Keep our eyes on the ball.