The Time Machine

There is a song by Kenny Chesney called "Better Boat" that has some great lines.  My absolute favorite line is, "I let God do what he does." Here is a link to that song if you would like to listen.

Better Boat

It would be so freeing to let go and let God do what he does.  I pray to God for so many matters but many times fail to see the answers he gives.  Sometimes it is because I have tunnel vision and the answers don't look like I expect.  Often I don't see what he is doing because his timing is not my timing. Watching for change is like watching the motion of the hour hand on a clock.

So to get a different perspective, at the end of a year I like to go back and review my journal.  As I was reading my 2018 journal I realized that it was my time machine. It is easier to see change when I looked back to compare.  I could see God doing what he does.  I saw my silly worries.  I was reminded of the deliverance he provided.  I saw the "no" answers as well as all the "later" and "yes" answers.  I saw the painful mistakes followed by victorious days.  It is like time lapse photography on the growth of a flower.  It changes the pace and lets me see miracles that are easily overlooked.   I saw change and growth in my relationship with Christ and I saw his amazing patience and love for me.

Due to arthritis in my hands, writing is painful, so journaling did not come naturally to me. I started it by chunking and summarizing months in a little tiny spiral over 14 years ago.  As time went on, I was further inspired by the character Aibileen in The Help who wrote all her prayers, and made this practice a big part of my journaling. When I went digital I found that the task was not painful on my hands and errors were easily edited. My thoughts began to flow onto the digital page like a break in a dam.  I began the digital journaling by using a journaling app.  Here is a little advice: after losing the bigger half of 2016, I learned to use a reliable company that backs up in the cloud! Currently, I journal every morning in my iPad using the notepad on iCloud.

If you choose to record 2019, many days all you may get written down is the date and a sentence.  That is fine.  If you skip, that is fine.  Come up with a system that works for you and each year you can improve on it.  Soon you will be able to look back and see God doing what he does.  Then maybe you will be able to better trust Him with your tomorrow.

Warriors

My job in school technology provides me the opportunity to view many coworkers throughout the day. It is the dedication of those who work under the area of special education and counseling that constantly amaze me. Some of their daily challenges include children that are autistic, hyperactive, nonverbal, limited in mobility, homeless, pregnant, abused, unloved, angry, aggressive, lacking basic social skills or in need of a bath and clean clothes.  They have endless meetings with parents and guardians to keep them informed.  Then back in the office, they dot the i’s and cross the t’s on tedious government rules, regulations and paperwork to defend against lawsuits that are inherent to dealing with these issues.  

They also must keep up-to-date on the newest state and federal rules and regulations which involve many tiresome conferences.  In their free time, many of them work on their own continuing education in their field of specialty.  At the end of the day they see precious little results for their efforts.  Then they get up and do it again. Many of their cases seem hopeless yet they persevere. They are warriors. If you think that makes them a sad, depressed group, you would be wrong.  They greet everyone with a smile, laugh and enjoy the people around them.  

They do this job as if working for the Lord himself and it is obvious to me that they have a deep faith in God that keeps them going against such overwhelming odds. What I have observed is that their lives are not separated into secular and Holy.  What they do every day is done through the power of their faith in God. They are missionaries in the truest sense.  Their work life is a continuum of their faith.  What they do daily, they do out of a love for God and his children.  

I see them as described in these verses.  

Colossians 3:17,23-24 NIV

[17] And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him. 

[23] Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters, [24] since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving.

We could all learn from these educators.  Do we separate our lives into the secular and the Holy?  Is a mail carrier, mechanic, or lawyer less in need of doing all in the name of the Lord Jesus or should they separate their lives so that a relationship with Christ is left at home? Should God be reserved for high Holy days?  Unless you are a telemarketer or a thief, your job is probably an answer to a need! And what is more, you probably have a need for direction, wisdom and guidance. Know that you too are appointed by God and very much require his presence and direction throughout your day.  

The life of Jesus was not divided into secular and Holy.  Wherever he was, whatever he did, it was with and for his Father.  I know what you are thinking.  “But that was Jesus and applying that to our vocation is going from the sublime to the ridiculous.”  It seems that way when we compare our life to Jesus' life.  However, we all know we need patience in our job, doing what we do, dealing with issues and people that are difficult. We all need to view our work as Holy and appointed by the Lord.  We need to make every day a take-God-to-work day.  We need to be reminded of this scripture often:  

1 Corinthians 10:31 NIV

[31] So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God.

According to the Apostle Paul, we are not to divide our lives up into secular and Holy because it is all for the glory of God. Whether we are taking care of our bodies by eating and drinking or at work answering to a boss, we are to do it as if for the Lord. What if before leaving for work, we checked to see if we are taking our lunch, keys, phone, wallet and our relationship to Christ with us?  Can you imagine the change in our workday if we remembered He loves us, appointed us, and is in control?

The Voice

The Voice

This is so un-Texan that I am ashamed to admit it.  Please know that if I am driving and you wave at me, I probably won’t wave back.  And if I am driving and you honk at me, I won’t hear you because the music is too loud.  When driving, I am either concentrating on the task at hand, listening to music or concentrating on the world in my little head.  This makes me oblivious to the people in the cars.  They are just objects to be avoided. 

Last week while driving home from work on my usual commute, almost to my neighborhood, I passed a woman out walking.  I did not wave but I did not hit her either. That was a win for her and me!   At the time, I was thinking of what I would need to do first when I got home.  Then my thoughts were interrupted.  Maybe she was not just exercising and needed a ride.  This was a thought that was so unlike me that it was startling.  But of course, like a Pharisee, I did not turn around and I continued on my way home.  

About a quarter mile further, while going uphill on my narrow road closer to home, I was suddenly behind two road-hogging bicyclers.  While driving impatiently behind them at a slow crawl, the picture of the walking woman came into my mind and I clearly saw her shoes.  They were not walking shoes.  That was when I knew God was interrupting my day.  I could either keep following those bozos on bikes or I could turn around and ask that woman if she needed a ride.  

It turns out that she desperately needed a ride.  I won’t go into her story but I will tell you this: God loved her dearly to get this clueless unobservant driver to turn around and give her the ride she required. 

I once thought people were holier-than-thou when they said God spoke to them.  But God is a communicator and I believe he loves every single person dearly.  Why wouldn’t he speak to those he loves in any way he chooses?  God is defined in John 1:1 as the Word.  

John 1:1 NIV [1] In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God.

A.W. Tozer in his book The Pursuit of God said that it is the nature of God to speak, to communicate His thoughts to others.

Have I ever heard a loud booming voice from heaven?  No.  But I have heard the words God had for me through the mouth of someone else.  I have heard his words through music.  I have heard through total silence.  I have heard them through the beauty of nature.  I have heard them through someone’s art.  I have heard them through written word on the pages of a fictional book.  I have heard them in a Facebook post. I have heard them through a movie.  I have heard them through an overwhelming peace that covered my heart.  I have heard them through a devastating lack of peace.  And I have heard them through physical hindrance of two bicyclers.  Most often though, I have heard God’s voice through prayer and Bible study.  This is what tunes my heart to hear him throughout my day and I pray to hear it more everyday.  

Season of Hope

Isaiah 9:6-7 NIV
[6] For to us a child is born, to us a son is given, and the government will be on his shoulders. And he will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace. [7] Of the greatness of his government and peace there will be no end. He will reign on David's throne and over his kingdom, establishing and upholding it with justice and righteousness from that time on and forever. The zeal of the Lord Almighty will accomplish this.

This Christmas season brings many old familiar scriptures to light.  But the ones that mean the most to me are the ones written many years before Christ arrived in that manger in Bethlehem.  As a child I was unaware of the origin of the many scriptures from the Old Testament predicting the birth of Christ.  It is only in my more recent life that these scriptures have sprung to life. Floyd Hamilton, in The Basis of Christian Faith, writes, “Canon Liddon is authority for the statement that there are in the Old Testament 332 distinct predictions which were literally fulfilled in Christ.” 

That is a 'wow' moment for me.  What are the odds of 332 predictions to come true in one single person?  Mind boggling, that is what it is. Most of these prophecies were written hundreds of years before the birth of Christ in an age of hopelessness. To me, hope is so much more poignant in the Old Testament than the New Testament.  When reading the Old Testament we have the advantage of peeking in the New Testament and seeing how things worked out.  Today I want to highlight the hope of the Prophet Micah.  Here is his prophecy of the Christ.  

Micah 5:2 NIV

[2] “But you, Bethlehem Ephrathah, though you are small among the clans of Judah, out of you will come for me one who will be ruler over Israel, whose origins are from of old, from ancient times.”

According to B. Elmo Scoggin in the Broadman Bible Commentary, Micah lived in approximately 800 B.C. “when morals were low, government was decadent, courts were corrupt, religion was formalistic, the nation had lost its integrity”.  Hmmm....sounds familiar.  So that is why I turn to Micah to learn about hope.  Here is his take on hope.

Micah 7:5-7 NIV

[5] Do not trust a neighbor; put no confidence in a friend. Even with the woman who lies in your embrace guard the words of your lips. [6] For a son dishonors his father, a daughter rises up against her mother, a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law---a man's enemies are the members of his own household. [7] But as for me, I watch in hope for the Lord, I wait for God my Savior; my God will hear me.

According to Micah, when we hope, we need to be very careful not to place it in flawed humans, not even our own most trusted loved ones. Our hope must be placed in God himself.  Out of faith, hope and love, we know love to be the greatest but we often treat hope as the least.  I see hope as the foundation for the other two.  Those who have no hope have nothing at all, no faith and no love. So it is imperative that we find hope and place it in the one that does not disappoint.  

Romans 5:5 NET
[5] And hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out in our hearts through the Holy Spirit who was given to us.

If we place our hope in God, it springs to life in the times that are bleak, when our loss is devastating and our very soul is downcast.  I can remember a Christmas in 1985 that I spent alone.  I was totally alone yet it did not devastate me.  Now I know that was because my hope was in Christ, not the presence of my children in my house, or presents under my tree.  I was alone but yet comforted.  Deep down, it was OK.  The year that followed that lonely Christmas was one of the best of my life.  God is good. He does not disappoint.  

Lamentations 3:19-26 NIV

[19] I remember my affliction and my wandering, the bitterness and the gall. [20] I well remember them, and my soul is downcast within me. [21] Yet this I call to mind and therefore I have hope: [22] Because of the Lord's great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. [23] They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. [24] I say to myself, “The Lord is my portion; therefore I will wait for him.” [25] The Lord is good to those whose hope is in him, to the one who seeks him; [26] it is good to wait quietly for the salvation of the Lord.

Footnotes, Makeup and Pantyhose

I am pretty sure that footnotes, makeup and pantyhose were invented by Satan himself.
As a student, nothing struck fear in my heart more than footnotes.  As you can see, English was not my favorite subject and the reason boils down to footnotes.  Please understand that I never wanted to steal someone else's idea and take credit for it.  However, as a student who was forced to write about a topics in which I had no interest or thoughts, everything would be a footnote!  And don't even get me started on MLA, APA, and Chicago.  What a nightmare! Why couldn't I just say, so-and-so said such-and-such in this book, and be done with it? 

Today's blog is not so much my thoughts as compiled thoughts of others that I would like to share.  I want to talk about the biggest stumbling block of all time and I hope to correctly give credit to those who gave me this input, however, it will not be done in a lovely MLA footnote.  If I wasn't so paranoid about it, I would look each up and give them a perfect footnote.  However, all they will get is a shout out. 

My issue with pride first came to light when attending a bible study of Beth Moore's.  She shared the following poem that she wrote and I have kept it in my bible for years.  It describes the battle perfectly.

My Name is Pride

by Beth Moore

My name is Pride. I am a cheater.

I cheat you of your God-given destiny...

because you demand your own way.

I cheat you of contentment...

because you "deserve better than this."

I cheat you of knowledge...because you already know it all.

I cheat you of healing...because you're too full of me to forgive.

I cheat you of holiness...

because you refuse to admit when you're wrong.

I cheat you of vision...

because you'd rather look in the mirror than out a window.

I cheat you of genuine friendship...

because nobody's going to know the real you.

I cheat you of love...

because real romance demands sacrifice.  

I cheat you of greatness in heaven...

because you refuse to wash another's feet on Earth.

I cheat you of God's glory...

because I convince you to seek your own.

My name is Pride.  I am a cheater.  

You like me because you think I'm always looking out for you. 

Untrue.

I'm looking to make a fool of you.

God has so much for you, I admit, but don't worry...

If you stick with me, 

You'll never know.

This poem brought the effects of pride into the spotlight.  This week, it was while listening to a sermon on the radio about demons, the pastor (I think it was Robert Jeffress) said that Satan was once an angel and his downfall happened due to his pride.  This made me realize the very sobering thought that I have something in common with Satan himself.  Pride is a constant battleground in my life.  I believe it is C.S. Lewis who said, "Pride leads to every other vice: it is the complete anti-God state of mind".

Lord help me become sensitive to the presence of pride in my life so that I can bring it to you and lay it down.

Footnote...Thank you to all those who speak truth into my life.

Would You Like Salt with Your Fries?

Psalm 96:3 NIV

[3] Declare his glory among the nations, his marvelous deeds among all peoples.

Matthew 28:19-20 NIV

[19] Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, [20] and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.”

With global access through the Internet, I see our 'nations' today changing.  Today we are not separated so much by geography as by our political party, beliefs, the lifestyle we live, or by the color of our skin. We used to be divided by nations and cultures but today those lines are blurring. Quickly replacing the age-old divisions of geography are new dividing walls that have popped up over the past ten to twenty years.  Our nations are now splintered into factions of society based on beliefs and judgements. If this is true then we must cross these new barriers of race, political affiliation and lifestyle to spread God’s word and be salt.  

A common trick of the enemy is doing the ‘ole switcharoo’ on our thinking.  He relishes leading us to identify Christian behavior as that which is not.  In my neck of the woods in Texas, he uses our natural desire to protect our families to justify separating ourselves from this world. Many Christians have seen the shift in thinking of this world and out of fear, have chosen to isolate their family from the outside world as much a humanly possible. I will be the first to admit, this world today is scary for raising children, and I am glad mine are grown. But never forget that God loves your children more than you can ever love them.  Be a wise parent, teach them well, pray unceasingly for them, then trust God. They just might be the influence that is missing in our world.  

Matthew 5:13 NIV

[13] “You are the salt of the earth. But if the salt loses its saltiness, how can it be made salty again? It is no longer good for anything, except to be thrown out and trampled underfoot.

Salt has an amazing power over food.  Any cook on the food channel will tell you that it enhances the flavor in food.  It also preserves it by fending off bacteria. But to be effective, it must leave the salt shaker and spread out evenly. In the hands of a chef, it is the most important seasoning. It is only effective when it is spread out and stirred in.  The power of salt is released when it is dispersed. It has no power in the salt shaker.  If it stays in the sterile environment of the salt shaker, it has lost its power or it could be said that it has lost the action of 'saltiness'. By the way, the opposite of saltiness is bland.  Jesus was instructing his followers in this passage. Obviously, he was not telling us to rope ourselves off from the world. I think he was telling us to get out there and mix it up in our world just as he did. This prevents us from being bland, unpalatable Christians.

Hebrews 10:24-25 NIV

[24] And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, [25] not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another---and all the more as you see the Day approaching.

These words are written to Christians. Why would God tell us to meet together if Christians never separated and spread out? This passage contains an assumption that we spread out and mix with the world daily.  

In my job, I have the privilege to see Christian teachers nurturing children from dysfunctional and broken families. I see kind children from Christian homes learning side-by-side with those without hope, showing them what life is like on the other side. On network television this week, I heard a Christian artist proclaiming the power of our risen Savior. I see these Christians boldly spreading his word in the face of the lies of the enemy. This gives me hope.  

If you call yourself a Christian, please prayerfully consider your role in this world in light of what Christ called us to be.  

Letting Go

As long as I can remember, I loved God.  However, I must admit, I used to think of prayer and meditation time as a bit of a chore, something to check off the list.  Now I crave it.  I used to wonder how people said they heard from God.  Now I hear from Him daily.  So the question comes to mind, “How did I get where I am in my relationship with God”? It did not happen overnight but it did have a starting point and, thank the Lord, there is no ending point.  But what initiated this change?  What gave it direction?  What gave it this depth and breadth?  What was the switch that started this changing process in me?

Change does not happen without true conviction.  This happened for me about 10 years ago when my life became more challenging than ever.  It was not because of things I did but because of uncontrollable circumstances surrounding me.  These circumstances were directly from the enemy.  The enemy was attacking everything in my life that I held as dear.   When this point in my life arrived, I realized that I needed God because my problems devastated me and were so much bigger than what I could handle alone.  I came to him in prayer, broken and hurting.  This was a prayer that cried out from deep inside of me.  My husband and I were grieving incredible losses and heinous attacks in our family’s life.  This is the point where the growth of my Christian life began.  It reminds me of the proclamation of Joseph to his brothers.  Genesis 50:20 NIV [20] You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives.  What people did to hurt me and my family, God used to save lives.  

At this point in my life, I began by making my first big decision based on what God wanted, not on what I thought best.  This was the beginning of my ‘letting go’ and dying to my own desires.

John 12:24-26 NIV [24] Very truly I tell you, unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed. But if it dies, it produces many seeds. [25] Anyone who loves their life will lose it, while anyone who hates their life in this world will keep it for eternal life. [26] Whoever serves me must follow me; and where I am, my servant also will be. My Father will honor the one who serves me.

I surrendered my control over things that, before this point, were my decision alone. And I did this vocally to my husband to keep myself accountable.  The respect and approval of my husband is paramount to me so this part took a lot of guts.  I didn’t want to look like a fanatic and had to realize that was only the enemy talking in my own head.  My husband was going through all these trials with me, and we became even closer in this period of difficulties.

This change over the last ten years has been a process and this process is far from smooth sailing.  It has been a dance with God.  Sometimes I take over and try to lead only to fail miserably.  However, there have been precious moments when I set aside my fear and allowed my Savior to pick me up and carry me forward cradled in his arms. 

This brings me to the very important step of priorities. Before this point I was choosing to study God’s word whenever I found a convenient opportunity but my decision-making was based primarily on me and not God. I had to choose to make God my first priority in my life, not fit him in at a convenient time. I had to let go of my right to sleep in an extra 30 minutes. I learned this lesson through my church but the Spirit gave me the desire and power to pull this off. It didn’t come without failures.  When I skipped this time with Him, God helped me pick myself up, dust myself off and begin again in pursuing him first thing in my day until it is no longer an effort but a privilege. It is a time that I anticipate every day.  

Probably the decision to find a church that was all about God and not a social life was integral in this change. The church God led us to was functioning the way God meant it to function. Their priorities are to love God, love others, and serve the world.  This order is important.  We cannot serve the world without first loving God and others, because that would be legalistic. And loving God first involves authentic heartfelt worship. God then plants that love of others in our soul.  This church is not about cerebral exercise but real action. They truly serve the world.  

I have to be faithful with this plan and not flit around, looking to speed things up, remembering that this is not a sprint, it is a marathon. I have to fight battles with my sin daily when the lies speak louder than the truth, and find forgiveness and strength in Him to overcome. This seeking him daily, asking Him to draw me closer is powered by God.  Each day, I am letting go to a bit more of my selfishness.  Each day it is bringing me freedom that can only come from Him.  Each day is better with Him.  

One-of-a-Kind

It was two years ago that she passed away while I was holding her hand, and I was left alone in her room.  Our life together had come full circle since she was there at my birth, and I was there at her death. Our mother-daughter relationship was far from normal.  She was a kid at heart, and I was an adult at heart. Now I realize this was my coping mechanism. As a child, she made my life fun while at the same time making it difficult. She did want the best for me and did her best to make it happen. She liked to sew and was quite good at it.  She let me design clothes and then she would make them. She sewed all my clothes until I was about 15.  At that time she started a small bookkeeping business and used her income to buy me clothes from the best department store in our little town so I would fit in.  She was a 'cool mom' on one particular occasion when she snuck me out of the house to go to my junior prom. (Daddy didn't want me dancing.)

Mom led an active life as a homemaker and preacher's wife.  She loved music, sang in the choir, and when needed, led music at church, played the piano, sang in duets or did an occasional solo.  She loved 'teenagers' and even led the youth group in church when needed. I remember how much fun she had working with youth. She also knew her bible and taught Sunday school and many bible studies.  She was a preacher's kid who graduated from Baylor and met my dad while attending Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary. Mom loved Women's Missionary Union and insisted we pray for missionaries by name every day.  I can remember when she would see the Jehovah's Witness guys coming down the street and go get her specially marked bible with talking points to greet them at the door. She knew what she believed and why she believed it.  She was a force to be reckoned with.

My quick-witted mom was smart, and she loved to fix things.  Shortly before the dementia began stealing her mind, she bought a computer and assembled it from the box by herself then proceeded to teach herself how to use it.  She was the person to go to for repairs. She loved to redecorate but was on a pastor's-wife-budget, so she just constantly sewed curtains, reupholstered and moved furniture.  And that was when we weren't moving the furniture to a new house, trying to make her happy. This was our sign that something was not quite right with mom. I had no idea for 50 years she was dealing with an inner demon of a bipolar disorder. I can remember the hours I spent standing at the Hallmark card counter before Mother's Day trying to find a card I could give her with a straight face and a sincere heart. Many times I had to walk away from the store laughing and crying, wondering how Hallmark made up this stuff.  

In 2010, while she and dad were in the wonderful care of Buckner Baptist Assisted Living in Dallas, she was diagnosed as bipolar.  Finally, all the pieces fell into place. I no longer wondered if everyone else's mom was like this.  My lifetime of questions were answered. In 2014, after an episode of mom's bad behavior at her nursing home in Ennis, I was commiserating with her nurse.  The nurse looked at me and said, "You know, your mom didn't make the choice to be bipolar." And from that point on I began to see mom in a new light. She lived silently with a disorder that now would be treated with counseling and medication.

I have come to realize that as much as she may have missed the motherhood mark, she got the most important thing right: Every time the doors were open, she and dad brought us to church where we learned about a personal relationship with a loving God.  She knew this was the link to the one thing that would hold a person together when all else fails. This was passed on to us, and I am eternally grateful.

In her Bible, shown above, she noted 2 Corinthians 4:16-18.  Next to this she wrote, "spiritual maturity DON'T GIVE UP".

I know now that she had a thorn in her side. I can't imagine the struggles in her life. She silently dealt with this disorder without counseling, understanding or medication. However difficult it was for her, she knew where her strength came from. Just like all of us, God used what she gave him. I look forward to seeing her again without that affliction and I hope she can forgive my lack of understanding for what she was going through.  

A Friend in Need...

My friend entered the world over 60 years ago today.  But I didn’t meet her until around 1982.  We lived in our college married student housing.  She was in a duplex across the street from my apartment.  Our lives back then were tough.  We were both living through the challenges of being young married parents who were struggling to make ends meet and go to school.  MaryJane sat next to me in genetics and was open to friendship.  We struck it off immediately with her quirky sense of humor and my love of laughing and genetics. 

MaryJane saw me through some of the rockiest times of my life.  She saw my graduation, the birth of my second child and the break down of my marriage.  God sent her to me exactly when I needed her most.  Then, just as quickly, we graduated and went our separate ways.  We have kept track of each other over the years but it is not the same.  

Throughout my life I have had many timely friendships that in turn slip away for various reasons and I mourn them. However, I remember how God sent me MaryJane in his perfect timing and God is good. 

Proverbs 17:17 NIV

[17] A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for a time of adversity.

Happy Birthday MaryJane!

I Want Justice!

The Bible is full of themes that tie it together from Genesis to Revelation.  My heart was filled when I discovered, or rather re-discovered, a theme yesterday.  So please give me the pleasure of tracing my steps with you.  

It started with the story in Genesis 27 of Jacob and Esau.  In a nutshell, Esau is Isaac’s first born son and Jacob tricks him out of his birthright with a pot of stew and some well-placed goat hide.  And just like that, Jacob the deceiver, steals the birthright from his brother. I get a little miffed every time I read about the connivance and deceit that goes on behind the scenes in this story.  While thinking about this unfairness another Bible story that seems unfair came to mind.  It was Job, a good guy that loses it all.  Understanding that story is no small undertaking.  And in the New Testament, the Christian-murdering Saul is given a second chance.  What about the parables of Jesus where some people are given more talents (gold) than others and the guy that gets the least buries it and gets scolded? Or the one where workers who were hired in the last hour received the same wages as those who worked all day?  And don’t forget the prodigal son who demands his inheritance, runs away and blows it all then comes crawling back to find a welcome home party fit for a king.  

Each of these stories makes me want to shout, “That is unfair!”  It is a gut reaction.  Isn’t God supposed to set things right?  If he doesn’t care about justice then what is this all about?  Why did God put all these difficult stories in the Bible?  By the way, this is more proof of the Bible's true author because humans would have edited these stories a long time ago. And why did so many of Jesus’ parables address tension over perceived injustices?  We humans care deeply about justice; at least justice on our terms and in our own eyes.  We care about justice from our point of view.  So how do we reconcile the appearance of inconsistency in God’s justice?  

While comparing these stories I saw something that I never noticed before.  In each of the stories above, the point was not the bad or good circumstances but how the main characters reacted to those circumstances.  Take a quick look at the end of each story.  Jacob the deceiver ended up struggling many years with his father-in-law and with God. He learned obedience and became the father of the Israelite nation. Job ended up even closer to God with a new view of God’s justice and blessed beyond measure. Saul the murderer, given a second chance became the Apostle Paul who is still teaching us 2000 years later. The servant who buried his talents remained bitter and fearful. The hired workers who worked all day for their promised wages got what they signed up for and the prodigal son was given a second chance just as God gives us all.  

In each of these instances God’s justice was in the changed life, or lack of, rather than on the unfair event.  It seems that God’s justice does not always happen by changing our fortune but by changing our hearts.  His currency is not ours.  That is why it is so hard to understand some of those Bible stories and why we struggle to understand God's justice.  God is a just God. There are many scriptures that tell us this in both Old and New Testament.  Here are a few of them.

Psalm 50:6 NIV

[6] And the heavens proclaim his righteousness, for he is a God of justice.

Isaiah 5:16 NIV

[16] But the Lord Almighty will be exalted by his justice, and the holy God will be proved holy by his righteous acts.

Matthew 12:18 NIV

[18] “Here is my servant whom I have chosen, the one I love, in whom I delight; I will put my Spirit on him, and he will proclaim justice to the nations.

Revelation 19:11 NIV

[11] I saw heaven standing open and there before me was a white horse, whose rider is called Faithful and True. With justice he judges and wages war.

We expect him to heal our body but he chooses to heal our hearts.  We expect him to reward our good behavior, but he sends rain that helps us grow.  We expect him to punish people who do us wrong but he chooses to give them (and us) a second chance.  We expect him to make things easier on us because we are good God-fearing folks, but he allows the tragedies of this world to prune us and force new growth in other parts of our life giving the opportunity to draw even closer to him.  We expect God to change our situation but God chooses to change our perspective in life.  Just because we lack the ability to predict God's justice doesn't make him unfair. We must start dealing in God’s currency to begin to understand his justice.

Isaiah 30:18 NIV

[18] Yet the Lord longs to be gracious to you; therefore he will rise up to show you compassion. For the Lord is a God of justice. Blessed are all who wait for him!

Zechariah 7:9 NIV

[9] “This is what the Lord Almighty said: 'Administer true justice; show mercy and compassion to one another.

Lord, help us to exhibit your true justice, full of mercy and compassion, and accept your justice even when we don’t understand. 

Higher Ground

It was early Saturday morning and the streets were dark and deserted, lined with trash from Friday night partying.  We emerged from our hotel in downtown Austin.  While waiting for the sleepy valet to bring our vehicle, I looked around.  There was a guy on a bench in front of my hotel, sleeping.  He was wearing dingy clothing, had kicked off one ill-fitting shoe and was hunched over.  As I looked at him it hit me that he was someone's son.  He could have been my son. That is when I felt it.  Tears welled up in my eyes.  This was someone who was alone, who felt unloved and unworthy and in reality could have been chemically dependent.

I have seen homeless people before and have been with my church when we were hosting a meal for them. I have no personal experience in their shoes.  I have no idea of their life.  But this one touched my heart.  I said a prayer for him as I got in the pickup.  Tears were still falling and I didn't know why.  You see, I am not usually a bleeding heart. On a scale of 'bleeding heart to cold heart', cold heart would come closer to describing me.  I believe in the saying, "Give a man a fish, he will eat for a day. Teach him to fish, he will eat for a lifetime".  I believe giving people money only makes them dependent when the goal is to make them independent.  So how do we fix this huge problem of homelessness?

When a problem is massive and shows no sign of slowing, it takes large groups of people to fix it.  Not one-on-one, but groups of people to pull up one person.  I can remember in Hurricane Harvey how people across our state and the entire United States came to help those who were flooded out.  The effort was massive.  It brought people together across the U.S.A. to solve this problem.  It even cut into political network news time!  But homelessness is so much more complex.  It is not as simple as putting people on higher ground.

So if we were to get groups of people together to overcome homelessness, how do we get them to higher ground?  Their higher ground would be a place out of the chains of dependence.  And when it comes to breaking chains, I know of no other way but through Jesus Christ.  Only the power of God can break chains.  So when homelessness is exponentially rising, how do we address it?  Do we ignore it?  Do we continue to give clothing, food and money to them to soothe our conscience?  Do we preach at them?  How do we even begin to make a dent in this issue?

Here are a few ideas that I have.

1. When organizations like World Vision and Compassion International address poverty in foreign countries, they address individuals.  We adopt them.  One. At. A. Time.  Maybe we need to address homelessness not in mass but one individual at a time.  

2. It takes a large organized group to pull just one person out of poverty.  I think it will take large efficient organizations to do this for our homeless.  These organizations will need prayer teams, money donations, professionals to teach them survival skills to climb to higher ground and field workers to bring them in.  It will take people to follow up and make sure the formerly homeless are maintaining a home independently.  They will need office personal to organize and overseers to keep it non-profit.  One amazing organization I know is Zoe Ministry.  They empower children in areas with abject poverty to move beyond charity by teaching them survival skills. Then they use those children to teach survival skills to others to perpetuate this ministry.  It is kind of an exponential chain reaction.  This same management plan could be applied to our homeless.

3.  Whenever I feel called to address an issue, it is best not to invent the wheel but to join someone who is already doing this and needs my help.

4. It will need to be faith based.  The only power to break the chains of homelessness is through the power of Christ.

This to me sounds like the work of a church, a large church, a mega-church, a bunch of mega-churches.  If only...

Best Intentions

When meeting with my posse this week, (my posse is a group of ladies who love to get into God’s word), we talked about how difficult it is to start the habit of meeting with God first thing every morning.  We discussed how intentional you have to be to make this decision and stick with it.  We talked about our failures and successes.  But mostly we talked about the difference it made in our lives. 

Change is intentional.  It is a choice. I made that choice about five or six years ago and it is the best decision I have ever made.  I decided to give the first of my day to God and trust him for the rest.  Most of my life I spent time in prayer at the end of a long day.  It was good, but spending time in the morning is unsurpassed.  Why is morning better?  And isn’t that a little legalistic?  I’m glad you asked.  My pastor explained it this way.  Time is valuable.  We fight for it everyday and run out everyday.  24 hours is never enough.  Giving God the first minutes of your day and trusting him with the rest is a huge shift in thinking.  It is prioritizing and placing first things first. It is saying everyday, “God, you are the most important thing in my life.”  Getting up early is a big sacrifice to a night owl like me. However, it shifts the order of my universe when I shove aside everything else and give the first place in my day to God.  

A sweet friend from my posse, Carla Cochrane, started this practice two or three years ago and never looked back. She would tell you what a change it has made in her life too.  We discussed what we could share to help others get started in this radically life-changing process.  In this blog I am going to share with you some of the steps we took to get started meeting God every morning.  Here are our ideas in no certain order.  

Get some Inspiration.   

Watch the movie War Room if you need inspiration to make this big change.  It.Will. Pump.You.Up! For that matter, watch any YouTube clip from Priscilla Shirer.  That will get you going.

Plan your Place.

Pick a comfortable spot that gives you privacy.  Mine is my favorite chair with my coffee.  It could be inside or outside, in a closet or a location in a big room.  Just pick a special spot and set it up.  Do a little nesting there to make it yours and yours alone.  

Choose your Sword.

This time isn’t just output to God.  It is input from God.  It is a conversation between friends that is food for your soul.  Listening to what God has for you is the most important part of this process, and a Bible is the word of God. It is a weapon of offense to help you take on the issues in your day.  You may want to buy a new Bible just for this time with God.  If so, research and go shopping.  His input is so important and there are so many choices of Bibles.  I chose a digital Bible that allows me to see two versions side by side, is lightweight, and is on every device so it is always with me.  There are so many cool Bibles now.  Go to a book store and spend some time shopping.

Choose a Daily Devotional Book.

A great way to start is to find a daily devotional that you like.  There are many phenomenal ones out there.  If one does not work for you, try again.  

Find your Focus.

I can’t focus well if there is any distraction. And sometimes my mind bops around like a pinball in an arcade game.  That is me.  When this happens I stop and write down that thought, then go back to my quiet time.  Some days I fight for focus the entire time, and some days the conversation flows.  I have heard of people who keep sticky notes by their Bible so they can jot down that random thought then get back to their quiet time.  

Journal your prayers.

Try writing down your prayers. You will be amazed how they are answered.  I got this idea originally from reading The Help. You may look back ten years later or a day later and remind yourself how God answered your prayers.  Also, writing them down makes your prayers more thoughtful and intentional.  I often realized how selfish I sounded when I saw it in black and white and writing it down provided a window to see myself without the rose colored glasses.  A little honesty goes a long way when having a conversation with a friend.  I chose to journal in my iPad notes because it is free, is in the cloud and even has a lock feature.  (There are also apps for this but be careful.  I lost over half of my 2016 journal to a bad app.)  If you are not into the digital side, go to a book store where you will find a wide selection of journals in every shape, size and color.

Set your Alarm.

Set your alarm clock 15 minutes early to get started.  It needs to be a time when the house is quiet before the rest of your family takes over your life.  Start small and don't feel guilty about it.  As you get into the habit, this time will grow from God-given passion inside you. 

Give yourself Grace.

If you have an off day, week, or even month, forgive yourself, and take up where you left off.  But start again.  I have a hard time making anything a habit. (Sometimes I still go to bed and have to get up again because I forgot to brush my teeth.)  It takes many failures to get into any habit.  

If you chose to do this, be excited about this decision.  Your life is about to change. I have witnessed the metamorphosis in others and I have seen a transformation in myself.  

With prayers for you all,
Susan

Thrown Under the Bus

Remember “Blame it on Bush”? If you have ever been in charge of anything, from Little League concession stand to President of the United States, you have been blamed for something that was not your fault.  And worse yet, you may have known whose fault it was and had to hold your tongue while the tires rolled down your back.  The description is one of feeling eviscerated.  It makes you feel vulnerable and angry.  And it is a trick as old as time.  

Genesis 3:12-13 NIV

[12] The man said, “The woman you put here with me---she gave me some fruit from the tree, and I ate it.” [13] Then the Lord God said to the woman, “What is this you have done?” The woman said, “The serpent deceived me, and I ate.”

Who among us has not thrown someone under the bus for some poor decision that we made?  Crickets....  At times in my life when things were going badly, I have blamed God.  I have thrown him under the bus whether verbally or in my mind. I cannot imagine how that makes him feel when his own children turn on him.  I am convicted.  

In Matthew 25, I think the Parable of the Talents addresses throwing the Master under the bus. Jesus tells this story to his followers not long before his death and resurrection so it is believed that he was referring to what they were to do after he left this earth.

Matthew 25:14 NIV

[14] “Again, it will be like a man going on a journey, who called his servants and entrusted his wealth to them.

Parallel Christ leaving earth, leaving his servants in charge. He entrusts his mission on earth to them, and he equips them with wealth. Check it out. When he is confronted, that servant basically throws his master under the bus.

Matthew 25:24-26 NIV

[24] “Then the man who had received one bag of gold came. 'Master,' he said, 'I knew that you are a hard man, harvesting where you have not sown and gathering where you have not scattered seed. [25] So I was afraid and went out and hid your gold in the ground. See, here is what belongs to you.' [26] “His master replied, 'You wicked, lazy servant! So you knew that I harvest where I have not sown and gather where I have not scattered seed?

I see our 'gold' as the Holy Spirit. In the end of the parable, one of the servants was afraid and did nothing but dig a hole and throw his entrusted gold in it. I'm no bible scholar, but in my mind this last question was the master’s anger over the servant’s response. The servant was caught making excuses.  We do this out of fear.  All the master wanted was for the servant to be faithful and carry out his business in his absence.  All God wants of me is the same. 

Job is a guy who chose not to throw God under the bus when he had every reason to.  He suffered horrible pain and loss, both emotional and physical. And this was his response.

Job 1:20-22 NIV

[20] At this, Job got up and tore his robe and shaved his head. Then he fell to the ground in worship [21] and said: “Naked I came from my mother's womb, and naked I will depart. The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away; may the name of the Lord be praised.” [22] In all this, Job did not sin by charging God with wrongdoing.

As a Christian, do I have enough trust in a gracious loving Father not to question him but rather to ask him questions? There is a difference in asking God questions and questioning God. The first is reliance on God, the second is a sin.  The difference is attitude and relationship. God knows my heart.  And he knows the difference.  Asking God questions while tears are running down my face is very different from defiantly demanding why He did or didn't do something.  Yes, we get angry at God out of our hurt.  God understands and God forgives. However, my questions can and should be asked but only within the constraints of my relationship with God.  My heart must be examined and my intentions pure.  

This year my little community has watched while a small child suffered with cancer and it’s painful treatments. Our community pulled together in prayer for this child and his family. This week this little boy passed away.  If this isn’t throw-God-under-the-bus material, nothing is.  In situations like this many Christians do throw God under the bus.  But I believe as Christians we must walk the fine line of mourning the loss and pain and at the same time never cast blame on God. If you read Job, you will see just how hard this is to do.  Job’s friends failed this test.  And we too cannot pass this test, not without listening to the Holy Spirit in our hearts. So when we are confronted with situations like loss to cancer, school shootings, natural disasters, and child abuse we must quiet ourselves and rely on the Holy Spirit that God placed in our hearts to deal with adversity.  

But wait, there is more! We are told to take action.  We are told not to bury our gold but to invest it. How do we carry on the business of the Father in our world?

“Lord, why are there so many starving children in the world”? Jesus said, “Feed my sheep”.  “Why is there so much drug abuse and violence”? And Jesus said “Feed my sheep”.  “Lord, why are there school shootings?” “Feed my sheep”, he says. I watch the evening news and instead of being motivated to address the need, I shake my head in fear and despair and say the end is near.  On social media you don’t have to scroll far to see good Christian people posting this defeated, fearful, hopeless attitude.

I also see people everyday that are investing their God-given gold by feeding the hungry, educating the masses, taking measures to protect our school children from shooters, caring for abused children, donating money to organizations that teach children to survive when parents are gone, donating money to victims of natural disasters, educating people how to care for their health, visiting those in prison, and carefully voting only for those legislators who support the people who work in a position to act as His hands and feet in our world. 

There are so many ways we can battle against the evil and pain in our world! It is up to our imagination and dedication to address these issues in our world.  There is so much we can do! Slinging mud and throwing God under the bus is what happens when you bury your gold.  We are not left to the wolves. We have been given a treasure of gold.  It is the very assignment given by our Savior and God to his followers.